


Pretty Soldier Simpson Moon R

by gkscotty



Series: Pretty Soldier Simpson Moon [2]
Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon, The Simpsons
Genre: Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Gen, Multiple Crossovers, Screenplay/Script Format
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-19
Updated: 2014-11-19
Packaged: 2018-02-26 07:49:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 20,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2643941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gkscotty/pseuds/gkscotty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been some time since Lisa Simpson saved the world from the Dark Kingdom's plans, and things have been quiet on the magical girl front. Here's to a peaceful and uneventful summer holiday!</p>
<p>Yeah, right. Who are these new enemies, and who are these mysterious new sailors?</p>
<p>This is an old script I'm trying to start work on again. Parts one to three were completed about ten years or so ago. After that it'll be fresh content.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The inevitable sequel begins! Mysterious new sailors appear all mysterious-like!

**Author's Note:**

> Be warned. This fanfic conforms to no known continuity anywhere, except hopefully its internal one.
> 
> Well, I guess to be more exact, this is based more on the old 90s anime, not the more recent Crystal.
> 
> In this fanfic, transformed Sailor Soldiers/Senshi will be referred to as (planet)-(name). So Lisa as Sailor Moon is MOON-LISA. A "soldier" is one of Lisa's group. A "senshi" is one of Usagi's group.
> 
> Speech in is said in Japanese and subtitled at the bottom of the screen.  
> Actual Japanese is said in Japanese and not subtitled.

  
**EXT : TESTABURGER HOUSE, SOUTH PARK - DAY**  
A typical day in South Park. Shot of a house. LUNA walks along the sidewalk, shivering slightly.

**LUNA** (to self) : Brr, what is it with this town? It’s always freezing here...

She comes to the path up to the house’s front door, and turns up it. Luna sits on the step in front of the door.

**LUNA** (gulp) : Well, I’m here... better get in some practice...

She coughs, clasps her front paws together, and looks apologetic.

**LUNA** (practising) : Wendy... I’m sorry! I’m so sorry for thinking you were Sailor Moon and leading you on a wild goose chase for months, before dropping you instantly when I found you were the wrong girl! It wasn’t very nice... (coughs, back to normal) No, that probably won’t wash... (back to practice, teary) Wendy, it was cruel of me to disappear suddenly with no warning after wasting your time and endangering your life for months... (back to normal, thoughtful) Hm. This is going to be tougher than I thought. But I do at least owe her an apology... though if I remember correctly she wasn’t exactly the forgiving type. (shrug) Oh well, I’ll try. I mean, what can she do, shoot me into the sun?

Luna looks around, and sees that the front window of Wendy’s house is a little open. She leaps up to the widow sill and enters.

**CUT TO :**

**TESTEBURGER HOUSE LIVING ROOM**  
The room is deserted apart from Luna who drops in from the window. She looks around cautiously. Everything is very quiet...

**LUNA** (whisper) : Wendy?

She explores a little more. The lower level of the house seems to be deserted. Luna looks nervous.

**LUNA** : This feels strange...

She heads into the hallway

**CUT TO :**

**HALLWAY**  
Luna shudders.

**LUNA** : I have a very bad feeling about this...

There is suddenly a knock at the front door. Luna hides.

**VOICE1** (boyish, OS) : Wendy! You there?  
 **VOICE2** (boyish, OS) : She’s probably still sick or something, Stan.

The door handle turns and it opens to show the voices are STAN MARSH and KYLE BROVLOVSKI. Stan steps into the house but Kyle hesitates.

**KYLE** : Dude! You can’t just walk into her house!  
 **STAN** : Hey, the door was open. Don’t you think we should check on her if she’s sick?  
 **KYLE** : You never checked on me when I was sick!  
 **STAN** : Dude, you have the measles, damnit! I did NOT want to get that f***ing thing again.  
 **KYLE** : You can’t get measles twice, moron! You’re just here because you’re worried about your (teasing) girrrlfriend!  
 **STAN** : I am not! I’m just concerned about a f**king classmate, damnit!

Stan heads toward the stairs. Kyle follows him.

**KYLE** (laughing) : Hey, if Wendy’s sick, maybe this time she’ll get to puke all over you!  
 **STAN** (annoyed) : Shut the f**k up, Kyle!

Luna frowns as she watches the two go upstairs.

**LUNA** (thinking) : Nuts. Having these two around will put a crimp in my apology plans... still, Wendy’s sick? I guess that might explain the atmosphere in here...

There is a SCREAM. It’s Stan. Luna is alarmed.

**LUNA** : What the?

**STAN** (OS) : OH MY GOD! THEY KILLED WENDY!  
 **KYLE** (OS) : YOU BAS**RDS!

Now Luna’s shocked.

**LUNA** : Wendy?!? Oh no!

She dashes upstairs...

**FADE TO WHITE**

  
**PSSMR INTRO SEQUENCE GOES HERE.**  
Bart’s Blackboard Line - I will not make her wild like me.  
I will not make her wild like me.  
I will not make her wild like me.  
I will not make her wil  
Couch Scene - Lisa, Allison, Jessica, Minako and Laura jump onto the couch in that order. They twirl, hold up their brooch/pens and transform in mid jump, so they’re in Sailor Soldier mode when they land. Jup-Laura misjudges her jump and her legs hit the back of the couch, sending her toppling head over heels over the back of the couch. A moment later she sticks her head up from behind it, obviously dazed.

  
**PRETTY SOLDIER SIMPSON MOON R**

**Episode 1 : The inevitable sequel begins! Mysterious new sailors appear all mysterious-like!**

**By GKScotty**

**INTRO MONTAGE**  
LISA stands with her back to the camera. As the voiceover talks, she turns and gives the V (victory) sign.

**LISA** (VO) : Hi, I’m Lisa Simpson!

Scene changes to show various pictures of Lisa trying to deal with living with Homer, Marge, Bart and Maggie.

**LISA** (VO) : I used to think my life was strange... but really I hadn’t seen anything yet. Not until a black cat called Luna turned up in my bedroom... hopefully you already know some of this. It might be a really good idea to read the original Simpson Moon if you don’t.

Show scenes of Lisa meeting LUNA.

**LISA** (VO) : Almost a year ago I met a talking cat, who told me her name was Luna and that I was Sailor Moon. Naturally I didn’t believe her at first (shots of Lisa’s reaction after she’s transformed for the first time) but it wasn’t long before I had to face up to it. She made me fight monsters and evil villains because of that. And she roped in three of my friends...

Shots of ALLISON intercut with shots of MERC-ALLISON.

**LISA** (VO, cont) : Allison Taylor, a very intelligent girl who wound up as Sailor Mercury...

Shots of JESSICA intercut with shots of MARS-JESSICA.

**LISA** (VO) : Jessica Lovejoy, a... um... *cough* high spirited girl who got made Sailor Mars...

Shots of LAURA intercut with shots of JUP-LAURA

**LISA** (VO) : And Laura Powers, the local tomboy who was older than us but still made a very good Sailor Jupiter.

Shots of MINAKO and ARTEMIS intercut with shots of VENUS-MINAKO.

**LISA** (VO) : Later on, another cat named Artemis arrived from England bringing the fifth soldier with him - Minako Aino, Sailor Venus!

Show various shots of Jimboite, Nelsonite, Dolphite, Kearneyite and Beryl.

**LISA** (VO) : Together we fought against the Dark Kingdom and their plans for world domination. It was sometimes strange and sometimes very silly, but hey, I eventually enjoyed it. Or at least I did until Luna told us we couldn’t any more.

Show scenes of Moon-Lisa and Luna arguing. Luna takes back the brooch and the pens (not Venus’) and runs off.

**LISA** (VO) : Apparently Luna had got the wrong girls. She took away my brooch and the pens to prevent us trying to fight Beryl, because she knew we couldn’t win! It wasn’t the first time Luna had done this... she had been looking for Sailor Moon for hundreds of years and in her enthusiasm and hurry to find her had made hundreds of similar mistakes. But we were different from her past girls...

Shot of Minako presenting the pens and brooch back to the other girls.

**LISA** (VO) : We had the real Sailor Venus with us. And Minako had so much confidence in us that she stole back the pens and brooch from Luna. We set off in secret for the Dark Kingdom’s base, without Luna’s permission...

Shot of them all marching across the snowfields.

**LISA** (VO) : It was a hard battle.

Shots of Allison, Jessica, Laura and Minako’s dead bodies.  
Show shots of Princess Leitha facing down Beryl.

**LISA** (VO) : But I got to the end, thanks to my friends. I changed the Moon Wand into a Saxophone, surreally. And eventually we beat her... even though we died in the process.

Shots of the big battle. Princess Leitha blows a final note on the Moon-Saxophone and the Ginzoushou is activated. Beryl is adsorbed by Leitha’s final attack and is destroyed. Leitha turns back into Lisa and falls down dead. Scene fades to black.

**LISA** (VO) : Fortunately, we had the ultimate plot device, the Ginzoushou, on our side. We were all revived the next day, with our memories intact. It was a little anticlimactic, even for me, but I’m not complaining. We forgave Luna and she forgave us for stealing back the pens... we knew she’d only taken them back to try and prevent us getting hurt. After that, Luna left... to go find the real Moon Princess.

**CUT TO :**

  
**SPRINGFIELD PARK**  
LISA sits on a park bench, facing the viewer.

**LISA** (addressing viewer) : So what have we been doing since then? Well... lets see... quite a while has passed since then, over a year. I’m in third grade now, I had a birthday... (smile) so I’m nine years old now...

The camera jerks and seems to fall over backwards, so that it’s staring up at the sky. Lisa yelps in surprise.

**LISA** (OS) : Hey, are you okay? (runs into shot) It almost looked like you had a heart attack there!

Lisa helps the “camera” up.

**LISA** : You’re sure you’re okay? Alright... I don’t know what’s supposed to be so shocking about me being nine... (camera shakes, but is okay) anyway... (sits down, smoothes out her dress) As well, Allison is now eight, Jessica is eleven, and Laura and Minako are fifteen.

**CUT TO :**

**ANDROIDS DUNGEON COMIC SHOP**  
MINAKO walks around the shop, putting comics onto racks and tidying up displays. She seems busy and harassed. She wears a t-shirt, shortish-skirt and a strange hat with cat ears and bells on it.

**LISA** (OS, cont) : Minako’s been working really hard. Since Artemis ran out of money, she was now stranded in America with no way home. She couldn’t get deported, as that would entail explaining exactly why she was in America in the first place, and we thought “a talking cat told me to be a sailor suited soldier for justice” would be sure to raise some eyebrows. So she kept out of the benefit system, lied about her age and got a part-time job at one of the many Springfield shops willing to hire without a work permit. Fortunately, she was able to get very good pay at the Android’s Dungeon.

**CUT TO :**

**BACK ROOM**  
The COMIC BOOK GUY stands in front of a flip chart.

**GUY** : I don’t normally pay my peons well, but Minako is an exception. (flips over first page of flipchart.)

**GUY** : As you can see, (points to spot) the point where I started employing Minako coincides with a almost 500% rise in sales. It seems my usual clientele of prepubescent boys, teenagers and lonely twentysomethings appreciate being served by a pretty teenage girl, as opposed to being served by myself. I don’t understand it personally. It’s not like she has the intimate encyclopaedic knowledge of Hawkman’s backstory needed to be a truly great comic book salesman. Though I must admit, she has quintupled the number of female customers we have with her keen eye for good shoujo manga. We now have five female customers.

**CUT TO :**

**FRONT ROOM**  
Minako is behind the counter, which is U-shaped. She is putting rare items into the glass cases behind the counter. Four heads pop up on the other side of the counter - BART, MILHOUSE, MARTIN and LEWIS. They peer over the counter, watching her. Minako thinks she sees something reflected in the glass case and turns to look, but as she turns the four heads disappear behind the counter. Slightly disturbed, she leans over the counter and looks down - as she does so, the four heads reappear at the far end of the counter. Her skirt rides up a little as she leans over the counter...

**CUT TO :**

**CLOSEUP OF MINAKO’S FACE**  
She looks puzzled, until four loud THUMPS are heard. She looks up in alarm.

**MINAKO** : What?

**CUT TO :**

**SIDE VIEW OF COUNTER END**  
Bart, Milhouse, Martin and Lewis are on the floor, having apparently nearly fainted. Minako leans over the counter.

**MINAKO** (annoyed) : Are you going to buy anything or are you just looking?  
 **MARTIN** (romantic) : For you, my dear, anything...  
 **LISA** (VO) : The shop couldn’t afford to let Minako go, of course. Which isn’t to say she had a lot of money. Artemis had had nothing to do with his time since the Dark Kingdom was destroyed, so he'd got into some... bad habits.

**CUT TO :**

**MINAKO’S APARTMENT**  
ARTEMIS sits looking at a Nintendo Wii U.

**ARTEMIS** (contempt) : You are not l33t. I shall make you l33t.

Artemis grabs a screwdriver with his mouth.

**CUT TO :**

**SHOT OF ARTEMIS’ BITS BOX**  
The bits box is split into two sections, labelled “SALVAGED FROM AN XBONE” and “SPARES FOR MERCURY COMPUTER.” Artemis isn’t looking at what he’s doing - he tries to get something from the X-Box section, but accidentally takes something from the Mercury section.

**CUT TO :**

**THE APARTMENT**  
Caption - “One hour later”  
Artemis puts the case back on the Wii U. There is a strange glow about it...

**ARTEMIS** : All done. Now lets plug her in and see how she runs... Smash Bros here we come...

He connects the console up to a TV and switches it on. All goes fine for a few seconds, until SUPER MARIO and SAMUS ARAN step out of the TV.

**SAMUS** (filtered) : You fool...  
 **MARIO** (incomprehensible Italian accent) : You just voided your warranty, idiot! Get ‘im Samus!

**CUT TO :**

**OUSTIDE APARTMENT WINDOW**  
There is an explosion in the flat. After a moment a slightly scorched and shell-shocked Artemis appears at the window.

**ARTEMIS** : Maybe works a little too well... f33r my l33t 5k!115...

Pan down from the window to show the front of the Androids Dungeon comic book shop. The cardboard-cut-out android is still in the window, but his speech bubble now reads...

“Yes! We do have * Comics! * Trading Cards! * Action Figures! * Games! * Fanservice! *”

There is a little picture of Minako’s face beside “Fanservice.”  
JUP-LAURA walks on screen from the left. A YOUMA walks onscreen from the right. Jup-Laura walks over to the youma, punches it twice, kicks, punches it in the stomach and finishes with a backhand to it’s face.  
Another YOUMA walks onscreen. Jup-Laura walks over to the youma, punches it twice, kicks, punches it in the stomach and finishes with a backhand to it’s face.  
Another YOUMA walks onscreen. Jup-Laura walks over to the youma, punches it twice, kicks, punches it in the stomach and finishes with a backhand to it’s face.  
The picture pixelises a little...

**MIX TO :**

**ARCADE GAME SCREEN, KWIK-E-MART**  
Pull back from the screen. LAURA is playing the coin-op game. She seems a little aggravated, she’s hammering the buttons and waving the joystick madly.

**LAURA** : Come on, come on...

**CUT TO :**

**THE GAME SCREEN**  
The game Jup-Laura is now fighting Garaben. Garaben slashes down on Jup-Laura with her axe, and the game’s Jup-Laura falls down. The sign “GAME OVER - INSERT COIN TO CONTINUE” and a countdown timer appear.

**LAURA** (OS) : Aw, nuts!

**CUT TO :**

**LAURA PLAYING THE GAME.**  
Laura looks around guiltily, and leans toward the screen of the game.

**LAURA** (whisper) : The rabbit on the moon made some mochi...  
 **GAME** : Free play awarded.

Laura smiles to herself and continues playing.

**LISA** (VO) : After she came back from Cephiro, Laura sent a lot of time moping for some reason. She never told us why. We eventually got her out of her funk by suggesting that she start studying martial arts for real - she’d previously been going off stuff she remembered her father teaching her.

**BLUR TO :**

**OPPONENT’S POINT OF VIEW, DOJO**  
Laura wears a white gi, and attacks her opponent quickly. She moves quickly and gracefully, and seems to have a smile on her face.

**LAURA** (as she attacks) : Ha! Atta! Hah! Uryaah! Ah!  
 **LISA** (VO) : Something about that helped her focus.

**CUT TO :**

**LAURA’S POINT OF VIEW, DOJO**  
Turns out the opponent is JIMBO JONES, Laura’s ex-boyfriend, who’s wearing a black gi. He madly blocks Laura’s blows, and appears to be on the verge of tears.

**JIMBO** : Aaagh, why do I always have to spar with you? (sob) Someone help meee! Agh! Sensei! Help!

Laura’s foot slams into Jimbo’s face, and he falls over backwards.

**BLUR TO :**

**THE KWIK-E-MART**  
Laura is still hammering away at the game. The doors to the Kwik-E-Mart open and SNAKE enters. He waves a gun and turns to talk to APU who is behind the counter.

**SNAKE** (casual) : Yo ‘pu. This is a robbery.  
 **APU** (polite) : Hello, you are somewhat late this week Mr Snake. Are you behind schedule?  
 **SNAKE** : Yeah, would have come yesterday but I got caught knocking over the Wal Mart. Y’know how it is with these prison sentences nowadays. A guy doesn’t have the time to get comfortable nowadays before they chuck ya out.  
 **APU** : I see, yes it is a shame. Now, I know it won’t change anything, but I am contractually obliged to ask you not to rob my shop please.  
 **SNAKE** : Not a chance. (cocks gun)  
 **APU** (resigned) : Well, I tried. Do you want cash or will you take a cheque?  
 **SNAKE** : Cheque. It ain’t gonna bounce like last time is it? Cause you still owe me for that dude.  
 **APU** (lying through teeth) : Noooo, of course it won’t bounce.

**CUT TO :**

**BEHIND LAURA’S BACK**  
Laura plays with her transformation pen behind her back, and looks around.

**LAURA** (thinking) : I really should stop this... but there are too many people about for me to transform here...

Apu writes the cheque for Snake, and is about to hand it over when...

**VOICE** (female, OS) : Stop right there!

A figure is silhouetted in the glass on the front doors. They open to reveal SAILOR MARS-JESSICA stood behind them, posing.

**MARS-JESSICA** : The convenience store stick-up is a great American tradition! (points at Snake) You subvert that tradition, and for that I can’t forgive you!  
 **SNAKE** : Huh?  
 **MARS-JESSICA** : In the name of Mars, I’ll chastise you!  
 **SNAKE** : What? (gasp) No, not little Snake!  
 **MARS-JESSICA** (frown) : (pause) No, I said CHASTISE, you idiot! FIRE SOUL!

Instead of using her usual Fire Soul animation, Mars-Jessica just lights a flame on the tip of her finger and flicks it at the cheque. The cheque bursts into flames. Apu and Snake look at the ashes.

**APU** (acting stupid) : Oh dear. The cheque has been destroyed. I guess you can’t steal it any more.  
 **SNAKE** (actually stupid) : Damn, foiled again!  
 **MARS-JESSICA** : Well, my work here is done. Bye!

She runs off.

**CUT TO :**

**SPRINGFIELD STREETS AND ROOFTOPS**  
Mars-Jessica runs from the Kwik-E-Mart and quickly jumps up to rooftop level via a canopy and a street lamp. She runs over a few rooftops and drops down into a deserted alleyway.

**CUT TO :**

**ALLEYWAY**  
Mars-Jessica looks around.

**MARS-JESSICA** : Looks safe enough for transforming back...  
 **JUP-LAURA** (OS) : Was that your good deed for the month, Mars?

Mars-Jessica looks around, and sees Jup-Laura standing behind her

**MARS-JESSICA** (startled) : Aagh! (calmer) Oh, it’s you Sailor Jupiter. Yeah, yeah it was my rare good deed. You guys can’t accuse me of not trying to be nice now.  
 **JUP-LAURA** : Yeah, I’d be impressed if you hadn’t been skipping school to do it...  
 **MARS-JESSICA** : Hey, I’m not skipping school! It’s lunch break just now!  
 **JUP-LAURA** : Yeah, but I know your lunch break ends at 1.  
 **MARS-JESSICA** : So?

Mars-Jessica pulls a watch out of watch-space. (like hammer-space but for wristwatches) It reads 12:56. She gapes at it.

**MARS-JESSICA** : Agh! Gotta go! Bye!

Mars-Jessica runs off, panicking.

**CUT TO :**

**CLOSEUP OF MARS-JESSICA**  
She runs across the rooftops.

**LISA** (VO) : Jessica has had some major changes in her schooling recently... it all started when she pushed her father, Reverend Lovejoy, a bit too far one day...

**BLUR TO :**

**FLASHBACK, SPRINGFIELD RIVER**  
REVEREND LOVEJOY stands with his back to the riverbank. A throng of SPRINGFIELD’S MOST SINFUL stand in front of him. This includes MOE, COMIC BOOK GUY and BARNEY.

**LOVEJOY** : Now, those of you who wish to become spiritually clean in the eyes of the Lord may enter the river and have your sins washed away in this mass baptism...  
 **MOE** : Yes! Oh yes! Spiritual salvation! I can put that whole Pulver business behind me... the FBI can’t pin anything on Moe Syslak! He heh heh!

The throng starts heading for the riverbank, but Barney points to something.

**BARNEY** : Hey, what’s that?

Pan over to a grey fin moving about on the water.

**COMIC BOOK GUY** : It’s some kind of man eating aquatic mutant!

A humanoid BLINKY THE THREE EYED FISH walks up to the CBG. He wears a suit.

**BLINKY** (English accent) : Excuse me, but we are not all man-eaters.  
 **GUY** : Sorry, Mr Mutant.  
 **BLINKY** (thoughtful pause) : In any case, from appearance it would appear that that fin belongs to a “Carcharodon carcharias,” or Great White Shark. Nasty little bugger that.

The entire throng gasps.

**MOE** : A shark?  
 **BARNEY** : Lets get outta here!

The entire throng screams as one, and runs off. The annoyed Rev Lovejoy glares at the shark fin, which has stopped moving.

**LOVEJOY** : That can’t be right. Sharks rarely come down this river...

The sound of laughing is heard faintly. The Rev hears it and suspiciously looks toward some bushes.

**CUT TO :**

**THE BUSHES**  
The laughing is louder here. Lovejoy pulls the bushes apart to reveal that Jessica is laughing her head off. She also holds a remote control for the fin. Jessica eventually notices him, and stops laughing, before smiling innocently and hiding the remote behind her back.

**JESSICA** : oh, uh... (innocent) hi Dad!

Lovejoy just grabs her collar and pulls her out of the bushes.

**JESSICA** : urk!

**CUT TO :**

**STREET**  
Show the intersection at a street. Mars-Jessica jumps down into the road and immediately jumps again, passing over some black iron railings and into the bushes beyond them.

**LISA** (VO) : Reverend Lovejoy had had enough. He thought up the worst punishment his Protestant mind could muster...

Jessica runs out of the bushes. She has detransformed, and now wears a white blouse with blue and black plaid skirt, white socks and black shoes. Camera pans over to the left as she runs over the playground to her school’s entrance. A sign is on the railings...

“Sister Mary Celine Convent School for Wallflowers and Adolescent Tramps.”

**LISA** (VO) : Sending her to a Catholic boarding school.

**CUT TO :**

**4th, 5th AND 6th GRADE CLASSROOM**  
A classroom in the convent school. SISTER CELESTE stands in front of the class, which includes SAMANTHA STANKY, (Milhouse’s girlfriend from “Bart’s Friend Falls In Love”) MARA MORRIGAN (fanfic-only character who obsesses insanely over Bart) and RIDI and TIDI. (basically female versions of Rodd and Todd.)

**SISTER CELESTE** (Canadian accent) : Okay class, today we’ll be... (pauses, notices an empty seat) Oh great. Where is Miss Lovejoy?

The class look at each other, murmuring “I don’t know.” The sound of running feet is head from outside the classroom, and the door flies open as Jessica runs in.

**JESSICA** : I’m here! I’m here!  
 **SISTER CELESTE** (annoyed) : That’s nice Jessica. But it is five past one. (Jessica’s face falls) Go stand in the hall.

**CUT TO :**

**HALLWAY**  
Jessica next to the classroom door, holding a bucket of water in each hand.

**JESSICA** (shout) : You know, this probably ranks as a cruel and unusual punishment!  
 **SISTER CELESTE** (OS from classroom) : Quiet you.  
 **LISA** (VO) : So Jessica wasn’t having a great time at school. There was someone who was doing well in school though...

**MIX TO :**

**SIMILAR HALLWAY IN SPRINGFIELD ELEMENTARY SCHOOL**  
The corridor is empty, and a sign on the closed door reads “4th Grade.” ALLISON walks up to the door and knocks on it, then enters.

**CUT TO :**

**4TH GRADE CLASSROOM**  
MRS KRABAPPEL is teaching her current 4th grade class. (not Bart’s remember, he’s in 5th grade now) Allison nervously enters the classroom.

**KRABAPPEL** : Ah, there you are. (to class) Class, this is Allison Taylor, she’s been moved up from third grade.  
 **ALLISON** : Uh, hi...  
 **KRABAPPEL** : Now, I don’t want anyone bullying her because she’s a year younger than yourselves...  
 **ALLISON** : Um... two years. I’m 8.  
 **KRABAPPEL** : What?  
 **ALLISON** : This is the second time I’ve moved up a grade.

There is a hushed silence. The class all glare at Allison, and some murmur to each other. “Moved up twice? Must be some kind of uber-nerd.”

**KRABAPPEL** (to self) : What are the school board thinking? This is a counselling case waiting to happen. Oh well... (to Allison) Well, go take your seat.

Allison heads over to the only available seat, which is directly behind TODD FLANDERS. Mrs Krabappel starts teaching something on the chalkboard. Allison tries to pay attention but she can’t see because Tood is much taller than her and his huge afro blocks her view. She squirms about in her seat trying to see past him.

**CUT TO :**

**GYMNASIUM**  
Gym class is just starting. Allison stands by herself, looking nervous. 2 BOYS and 2 GIRLS approach her. They appear to be quite a bit taller than her.

**BOY1** : So what are you doing our class, anyway? You some kind of super-geek?  
 **ALLISON** (nervous) : I, ah...

**CUT TO :**

**ALLISON’S POINT OF VIEW**  
She looks up at the boy. He seems to tower over her...

**BOY2** : Course she is. Doesn’t want to suffer her way through third grade like we had to.  
 **GIRL1** (annoyed) : That’s not very fair. If we had to do it, I don’t see why you couldn’t! What makes you so special, huh?  
 **ALLISON** : Ah, um, well...  
 **GIRL2** (pity) : Oh, don’t be mean to her. She’s just a kid, she can’t defend herself.

**CUT TO :**

**GYMNASIUM**  
The boys and girls walk away from Allison, who is looking depressed.

**TEACHER** (woman, OS) : Okay class, today we’re playing dodgeball...

Almost immediately, a dozen dodgeballs hit an unsuspecting Allison, and she falls over onto her back.

**CUT TO :**

**3RD GRADE CLASSROOM**  
Lisa sits down at her desk, and is surprised to see Allison sitting at the desk beside her.

**LISA** : Allison? But... shouldn’t you be in fourth grade?  
 **ALLISON** : Nah... I gave it a shot but I don’t think I’ll fit in.... I guess there’s such a thing as getting too ahead of yourself... and I like this class better.  
 **LISA** : What? Hm... oh, that’s a shame...  
 **ALLISON** : No, don’t worry about it (darkly) I got back at them, he he he...

**BLUR TO :**

**GYMNASIUM**  
The fourth grade run about, playing basketball. Camera looks up to a window high up in the gym. It’s open and Merc-Allison sits in it.

**MERC-ALLISON** : BUBBLE SPRAY!

A thick wet fog descends over the gym. The fourth graders stumble about.

**BOY1** : Hey, I can’t see anything!  
 **GIRL1** : Agh, I’m all wet!  
 **BOY2** : So... cold...

There is a thump as two people fall over.

**GIRL2** : Agh! Get off me you weirdo!  
 **BOY3** : I’ve bumped into something... oooh, soft...  
 **PE TEACHER** : AAAAAGGGHHHHHHHHHH!  
 **BOY3** : AAAAAGGGHHHHHHHHHH!

Up at the window, Merc-Allison laughs to herself.

**BLUR TO :**

**CLASSROOM**  
Allison is still laughing to herself. Lisa looks at her accusingly.

**LISA** (stern) : Allison.  
 **ALLISON** (guilty) : What? Is Jessica the only one allowed to wreak some occasional havoc?  
 **LISA** : Jessica’s not allowed to wreak havoc! She just does it anyway.  
 **ALLSION** : Well... it’s not like I’m making a habit out of it.

Lisa just frowns, and looks down at her work.

**LISA** (VO) : And me? I just got back to being an average schoolgirl. Tried to avoid turning into Sailor Moon. Avoided getting into fights and magical battles. Thankfully there weren’t many around, though when your father and brother are cursed martial artists (overlay of PANDA-HOMER and BART-CHAN) and your mother has recently been promoted to Goddess Third Class Limited (overlay of MARGE) the occasional fight does break out. But things have almost been back to normal. I hope they stay like this.

Lisa looks out the window.

**LISA** (VO) : It’s the last week of school. Summer is approaching...

The school PA system turns on, and everyone looks up as SKINNER speaks.

**SKINNER** (filtered) : Good morning students. This is just a reminder that at lunchtime we will have the final of the school’s mini-World Cup out on the field from 12:30. That is all.

Allison turns to Lisa.

**ALLISON** : Going to go see that, Lisa?  
 **LISA** : Bart’s playing, so I’d better.  
 **ALLISON** : I’ll come with you then.

  
**AD BREAK BUMPER** \- A Super Deformed (SD) Mars-Jessica jumps on from the right of the screen. A SD Merc-Allison jumps on from the left of the screen. SD Jup-Laura drops down from the top. SD Venus-Minako hops on from the left. And SD Moon-Lisa jumps on from the foreground, landing in the middle of the 5 girls. They all pose and the Simpson Moon R logo appears over their heads.

  
**EXT : PLAYING FIELD, SPRINGFIELD ELEMENTARY SCHOOL**  
Rows of temporary bleachers have been set up around the field. Two 5-a-side teams are on the pitch. Most of the bleachers are occupied.

**CUT TO :**

**BLEACHERS**  
ALLISON, LISA and JANEY sit together as a group

**JANEY** : So this is the final? Funny, but I don’t remember there being any other matches...  
 **LISA** : Well, we’re a small school.  
 **ALLISON** : Yeah. They were only able to get 2 teams together.

They look at one of the teams as it practices. It consists of BART, NELSON, SHERRI, TERRI and MILHOUSE in goal. They all wear USA strips.

**ALLISON** : Team USA...

They look at the other team. It consists of PAHUSACHETA NAPASAPEEMAPETILON, (Apu’s niece, most prominently seen playing "McArthur Park" on the Tabla in “Lisa The Beauty Queen”) REX, (The actor kid from “I Love Lisa”) ADIL, (the Albanian spy from “The Crepes of Wrath”) and UTER in goals. (German foreign exchange student) Each kid wears the strip of their respective country. (India, England, Albania, Germany)

**ALLISON** : And Team (sigh) Miscellaneous.  
 **JANEY** : Miscellaneous?  
 **LISA** : Well, that’s a new low.

**CUT TO :**

**SIDELINES**  
A boy who is the fifth Team Misc. player talks to GROUNDSKEEPER WILLIE

**BOY** : But coach, I’m an American Indian! Why do I have to be on Team Misc?  
 **WILLIE** : Ach, I don’t know! Don’t ask me, ask t’ wee nancy boy Skinner. Just pit on this Scotland shirt, and git oot there and play, and be glad ye got to t’ finals at all! (sob) Some of us ne’er get a chance to git in t’ World Cup ye know. (sniff) ‘Scuse me, I got somethin’ in ma eye! (runs off)

**CUT TO :**

**CENTER FIELD**  
Bart and Pahusacheta stand at the circle spot. MARTIN walks up to them, wearing a referee’s uniform.

**MARTIN** : Time to decide who kicks off. (To Pahusacheta) Ladies first. Heads or tails, Pah...Pahus... Pahusac... Miss?  
 **PAHUSACHETA** (glare) : Heads.

Martin flips the coin.

**MARTIN** : Sorry, it’s tails. (nod to Bart) Team US kicks off.

Martin and Pahusacheta step away from the centre spot. Bart kicks off, and passes to Nelson, who takes the ball upfield.

**CUT TO :**

**COMMENTARY TABLE.**  
SKINNER, MRS KRABAPPEL and MS HOOVER sit at the table. Skinner talks into a microphone.

**SKINNER** (over-dramatic) : And Nelson Muntz has the ball... oh, he passes to Bart, Rex tries to tackle but he misses, oh, and Adil has pulled out a camera and pushed the flash in Bart’s face! Bart is dazed, and Adil passes to Rex...  
 **KRABAPPEL** (unimpressed) : Eh, you’re a natural at this Seymour...  
 **SKINNER** (to Krabappel) : Why thank you Edna! I was practising all last night on my ham radio.

He turns back to commenting. Ms Hoover leans over to Mrs Krabappel.

**HOOVER** : Does he know his microphone isn’t on?  
 **KRABAPPEL** : I disconnected it. He’ll thank me later.

**CUT TO :**

**INSIDE SCHOOL**  
The corridors are deserted. A woman’s silhouette walks confidently around them, keeping to the shadows...

**CUT TO :**

**BACK TO THE MATCH**  
Rex has the ball, and is near USA’s goal. Sherri and Terri are harassing him though. He sees that Pahusacheta is in the open, and crosses the ball over to her. Pahusacheta kicks it as soon as she gets it

In goal, Milhouse looks nervous.

**MILHOUSE** : Okay Millie, nothing to worry about...

The ball is heading for the upper right corner of the goal. Milhouse jumps to catch it, but the ball swerves left and goes in the top left. Martin blows his whistle.

All the Team Misc. players bunch together and celebrate.

**CUT TO :**

**BLEACHERS**  
APU and SANJAY sit high up in the bleachers. Apu wears a “Misc. #1” foam finger.

**APU** : Yes! (shout) Good shot Pahusacheta!  
 **SANJAY** (shout) : That’s my daughter!  
 **APU** : Who would have thought little Pahusacheta would be able to bend a ball like Beckham?  
 **SANJAY** : Yes... oh. (depresses) I guess she won’t be cooking Aloo Gobi for me in my old age then...  
 **APU** : Ah, do not worry about it brother, I have daughters to spare. One of them can cook for you!

**CUT TO :**

**GYMNASIUM**  
The woman’s silhouette comes out of a door.  
Shot of the supply cupboard. There are cages and packs full of footballs, soccer balls, tennis balls and more... signs on the cages read “Property of Springfield High,” “Property of Shelbyville Elementary,” “Property of Ned Flanders” and more.

The silhouette raises a hand. The cages start to shake.

**CUT TO :**

**BLEACHERS**  
Lisa, Allison and Janey are still watching the match. Lisa and Allison suddenly get a pained expression, and have to rest their foreheads in their hands. Janey looks at them, concerned.

**JANEY** : Hey, are you two okay?  
 **LISA** : Just got... a headache for a moment.  
 **ALLISON** : Felt a little sick... it’s gone now though.  
 **JANEY** : Hm. That’s weird.  
 **LISA** (worried) : Yeah, it is...

**CUT TO :**

**GYMNASIUM SUPPLY CUPBOARD**  
The cages keep shaking. The balls inside them are vibrating rapidly.

**CUT TO :**

**BACK TO THE MATCH**  
Martin has blown for a penalty kick. Bart is about to take it.  
Bart grabs the soccer ball, and puts it down on the penalty spot, but as he does so he notices that many of the stitches on the ball are coming undone.

**BART** : Hey Martin! This ball’s falling to bits.

Martin walks over to have a look. The rip is getting bigger by itself.

**MARTIN** : Well... that’s quite unusual.

Bart and Martin watch as the rip gets bigger until it covers half the ball. (all the way from left to right.) Then the ball’s covering opens a little, and a red tongue lolls out of the rip...  
Bart and Martin scream and cling to each other. Bart drops the ball to the ground. It rolls about a foot.

**BART** : Agh! What the hell?

**CUT TO :**

**BLEACHERS**  
Lisa watches the scene with some alarm. She leans toward Allison.

**LISA** (whisper) : Do you have a bad feeling about this?  
 **ALLISON** (whisper) : A very bad feeling...  
 **LISA** (whisper) : Maybe we should go somewhere secluded...  
 **ALLISON** (whisper) : Yeah...

They sneak off, and head under the bleachers. Janey notices them leaving.

**JANEY** (following) : Hey, where are you going?

**CUT TO :**

**THE GAME**  
Bart edges toward the ball, and rolls it over so the “mouth” is visible. The ball now has a pair of eyes too.

**BART** (makes a face) : Eugh...

The ball glares at Bart, and starts bouncing toward him. Before he can react it has bit onto his shoe. Bart isn’t hurt but he’s severely freaked out, and he waves his foot rapidly trying to shake it off.

**BART** : Aaagh! Get off get off get off get off...

**CUT TO :**

**GYMNASIUM SUPPLY CUPBOARD**  
The cages keep shaking. They’re starting to fall to bits now...

**CUT TO :**

**THE GAME**  
Bart shakes the weird soccer ball off his foot. It is kicked away a few feet and rolls to a stop. The ball rolls until its right way up, then grows a small pair of bat wings and a row of very long and sharp teeth. It flaps into the air and hovers there, glaring at Bart. Bart gapes at it, and backs away...

**BART** : Aye carumba!

**CUT TO :**

**GYMNASIUM SUPPLY CUPBOARD**  
The cages and packages of balls rattle once more and then collapse. Balls fly everywhere...

**CUT TO :**

**OUTSIDE GYMNASIUM**  
All the gym windows break as balls fly out through them.

**CUT TO :**

**THE BALLS**  
Hundreds of balls fly through the air. There are the soccer balls like the one menacing Bart. There are big, heavy (American) footballs with seemingly painted-on faces and large eagle wings. There are tennis balls and baseballs similar to the soccer balls, except the tennis balls have yellow-feathered wings with black markings.

The balls swoop down and start randomly attacking the bystanders. Baseballs and tennis balls buzz the kids and get in their hair, making many people shout about “Bats!” Soccer balls fly at people at high speeds, slamming into them and knocking them down. Oddest of all are the footballs...

**CUT TO :**

**A FOOTBALL**  
A football flies along leisurely, not attacking anyone. A zip on its underside opens, and a dozen white packages fall out onto the ground.

Milhouse wanders over and pick up a package. It unfolds itself to reveal it’s...

**MILHOUSE** : Huh? A shuttlecock?

The shuttlecock’s tail rips into 2 parts, which it flaps as wings. Milhouse is startled and drops it, but it hovers in the air. A sharp needle pokes out from the head of the shuttlecock. It’s essentially a mosquito.  
All the other shuttlecocks do the same, and start jabbing Milhouse. He runs, screaming.

**CUT TO :**

**BART**  
Bart runs from the soccer ball flying after him. He gets annoyed though, and turns to face it.

**BART** : Okay, that’s it. This’ll be the last time you chase a user of Simpson-style Anything Goes Martial Arts! Hiii... yaa!

He winds up and punches the soccer ball right between the eyes as it catches him. It goes flying back, hits a goalpost, and ricochets off it to fly right back at Bart.

**BART** : Aw, nuts...

The ball slams into him uncontrollably, knocking Bart out.

**CUT TO :**

**UNDER BLEACHERS**  
Lisa, Janey and Allison watch the chaos from under the bleachers. People are trying to defend themselves (Sherri and Rex are swatting tennis balls with tennis rackets) but not really successfully.

**LISA** : This is insane! We have to do something about this...  
 **ALLISON** : Yeah!  
 **JANEY** : But what? There’s nothing we can do! Lets just keep quiet and maybe they’ll go away.

Lisa and Allison put their heads together.

**LISA** (whisper) : We can’t transform with her here...  
 **ALLISON** (whisper) : Leave that to me...

Allison sneaks off. Closeup of Janey and Lisa’s faces. After a moment, a hand holding a damp rag reaches into shot and places the rag over Janey's mouth. Janey’s eyes quickly close, and she falls unconscious. Lisa looks on in surprise as Allison catches Janey and lays her on the ground.

**LISA** : Hey... what’d you do?

Allison holds up a small bottle.

**ALLISON** : Ether.  
 **LISA** (smile) : Ah... good idea. (they high five) Okay, lets transform!

Allison holds up her pen.

**ALLISON** : MERCURY POWER, MAKE UP!

She is covered in a thick layer of water for several seconds. When it subsides, she's dressed as Sailor Mercury.

Lisa raises her brooch,

**LISA** : MOON PRISM POWER, MAKE UP! (a pause, then with a SWISH her dress morphs into a leotard. She jerks into an odd pose in shock) AGH! (SWISH and jerk as her shoes become knee-high boots) Waugh! (SWISH and jerk as elbow-length gloves appear) Eek! (SWISH and jerk as tiara and earrings appear) Woah! (SWISH and salute-pose as the skirt and bows appear. Lisa holds the pose - she's Sailor Moon!

**CUT TO :**

**THE FIELD**  
People are still running from the swarms of possessed balls. The SHADOWY FIGURE watches.

Extreme close up of the figure's face. We can only make out half her face, as a large lock of blonde hair covers the other half.

**PERSON** : Come out now, "Sailor Moon..." your friends are being attacked...

**CUT TO :**

**SHERRI AND REX**  
Sherri and Rex are surrounded by footballs and tennis balls.

**MOON-LISA** (OS) : MOON TIARA ACTION!

The moon tiara flies past the kids, destroying many of the balls.

**CUT TO :**

**MILHOUSE AND PAHUSACHETA**  
They're surrounded by soccer balls and baseballs.

**MERC-ALLISON** (OS) : BUBBLE SPRAY!

A wave of bubbles stream past, washing away most of the balls.

**CUT TO :**

**CLOSEUP OF THE SHADOWY WOMAN**  
She smiles.

**WOMAN** : Finally... it's about time.  
 **MOON-LISA** (OS) : Stop right there!

**CUT TO :**

**CLOSEUP OF MOON-LISA**  
She stands shoulder-to-shoulder with Merc-Allison, but the camera's emphasis is on Moon-Lisa. Her arms are folded in front of her.

**MOON-LISA** : I may not like them much, but team sports are how many kids find confidence in themselves and make friends, even though some of them get huge egos from it.

Camera quickly rotates around the soldiers so it has emphasis on Merc-Allison. She has a similar pose to Moon-Lisa.

**MERC-ALLISON** : You twisted the equipment of sports to your evil designs and attacked our friends! For that, we can't forgive you!

Camera moves to show both Sailor Soldiers.

**MOON-LISA** : (poses) I am the pretty soldier (pose) of love and justice (pose) Sailor Moon! (pose)  
 **MERC-ALLISON** : (poses) And I am (pose) Sailor Mercury! (pose)  
 **MOON-LISA** : In the name of the moon,  
 **MERC-ALLISON** : and Mercury,  
 **MOON-LISA** : and the Federation Internationale de Football Association,  
 **BOTH** : (pose) we’ll punish you! (pose, pose)

**CUT TO :**

**MYSTERY WOMAN**  
The woman is only seen in silhouette against the bright sun.

**WOMAN** : It's about time. I wasn't going to wait much later.

The woman holds out a palm, show closeup of it. Her skin is unusually pale. A black sleeve is worn that covers her palm up to her middle finger A crystal ring materialises on the middle finger - the head of the ring is underneath the finger. There is a white crescent moon design on the ring.

**WOMAN** : You're mine...

**CUT TO :**

**MOON-LISA AND MERC-ALLISON**  
The soldiers look around as the balls advance on them. Before they know it, they're encircled.

**MERC-ALLISON** (startled) : Agh! SHABON SPRAY!  
 **MOON-LISA** : MOON TIARA ACTION!

The tiara and bubbles once again destroy many balls, but more appear and take their place instantly.

A soccer ball aims itself at Moon-Lisa and charges. It hits her in the chest and knocks her down.  
The mosquito-shuttlecocks harass Merc-Allison. She tries to swat them with her hands, but misses them. A Baseball charges into her stomach and she falls backward beside Moon-Lisa.

**CUT TO :**

**BEHIND MOON-LISA AND MERC-ALLISON**  
The two soldiers look up at the woman, still silhouetted against the sky. She holds out her palm at them, and the ring on it starts to glow...

Moon-Lisa and Merc-Allison cower as the balls hover over them.

**MERC-ALLISON** : We... we're in trouble...

Moon-Lisa gulps. The balls advance on them, and the two soldiers cling onto each other and close their eyes...

There is a burst of flame.  
  
 **VOICE** (Female, OS) : BURNING MANDALA!  
  
There is a splash of water.  
  
 **2ND VOICE** (female, OS) : SHINE AQUA ILLUSION!  
  
There is a crackle of electricity.  
  
 **3RD VOICE** (female, OS) : SPARKLING WIDE PRESSURE!

Multiple fireballs toast one group of balls to Moon-Lisa's right. A wave of water splashes over another group of balls to Merc-Allison's left. Finally a large ball of lightning crashes down on the woman's hand - the crystal ring shatters, and the shadowed woman grabs her hand

**WOMAN** : Agh! You... who are you?

**CUT TO :**

**CLOSEUP OF MERC-ALLISON**  
She opens her eyes, surprised that she hasn't been attacked yet. She looks up... and sees a teenage girl (GIRL1) with very long hair silhouetted against the sun. No other details can be made out because of the glare.

**CUT TO :**

**CLOSEUP OF MOON-LISA**  
She opens her eyes like Allison and looks up. Moon-Lisa sees a teenage girl (GIRL2) with short hair silhouetted against the sun.  
Moon-Lisa gasps, and looks over her shoulder. There is another girl (GIRL3) this time with her hair tied up in a ponytail.

**GIRL3** :  <Leave them alone!>

Whip pan over to GIRL2.

**GIRL 2** :  <We can't let you attack small children!>

Whip pan over to GIRL1.

**GIRL1** :  <In the name of Mars, I'll punish you!>  
 **MOON-LISA** (surprised, to self) : In the name of Mars? But... that's not Jessica! Unless she just hit a heck of a growth spurt...  
 **WOMAN** : So... you girls are here... well, I'm no fool. I'll get them later, when the odds are better! Sayonara... "Sailor Moon!"

The person jumps, and moves with blinding speed across the field. She's gone before anyone realises she's gone.

Moon-Lisa looks around, bewildered. She gets up to her knees, and looks at Girl2. All 3 girls remain where they are, standing in a circle around the two Soldiers.

**MOON-LISA** : What... what was...  
 **GIRL2** : A new enemy.  
 **MERC-ALLISON** : A new enemy?  
 **GIRL2** : Yes. Listen... this is important.  
 **MOON-LISA** : What?  
 **GIRL2** : Do not become Sailor Moon or Sailor Mercury again. Tell your friends the same.

Moon-Lisa and Merc-Allison gasp.

**GIRL2** : For your own safety, leave the new enemies to us.  
 **MOON-LISA** : WHAT?  
 **MERC-ALLISON** : You can't tell us to do that! What if they're killing people and you're not around?  
 **MOON-LISA** : Who do you think you are?  
 **GIRL2** : We are...  
 **GIRL1** (interrupting) :  <Don't tell them, Sailor Mercury.>  
 **MOON-LISA** (startled) : Did she just say...  
 **MERC-ALLISON** (shocked) : Sailor Mercury? But...  
 **GIRL2** (annoyed) :  <Good one, Sailor Mars...> (to the Soldiers) It would be improper to leave without introducing ourselves though. We are the Sailor Senshi. (bow) Please do not impede our mission. Do not change into Sailor Moon. It will only make the enemy's task easier.  
 **GIRL1** :  <You have been warned.>

Girl 1 jumps away.  
Girl 2 jumps away.  
Girl 3 jumps away.

**MOON-LISA** (standing, frustrated) : Hey! Come back! What do you mean by all that?  
 **MERC-ALLISON** (confused) : Yeah! How can you be Sailor Mercury? I'm Sailor Mercury...

Allison's voice echoes as the screen **FADES TO WHITE.**

  
**EXT : VIEW FROM TREE INTO HOSPITAL WINDOW**  
Leaves and branches blow slowly in the foreground. The room beyond the window contains a hospital bed, and WENDY lies in it. A doctor walks around her. Another doctor approaches the bed.

**DOCTOR2** : So what's her problem?  
 **DOCTOR1** : Exhaustion, a minor fracture in her left leg, lots of bruising and cuts but they're stitched up now. She's breathing by herself and on an IV, but she won't regain consciousness.  
 **DOCTOR2** : Coma huh? Great, this'll tie up a bed for months. Medical Insurance check out?

**CUT TO :**

**LUNA IN THE TREE**  
LUNA lies on a branch, listening to the doctors talk

**DOCTOR1** : Yeah, all paid up.  
 **DOCTOR2** : Good, I didn't enjoy throwing that McCormick kid out the window.  
 **LUNA** (depressed, to self) : Not good... not good...

She stands, and walks along the tree branches until she gets to a wall. She jumps onto the wall and off the other side.

**CUT TO :**

**STREET OUTSIDE HOSPITAL**  
A red car is parked next to a wall. Luna drops off the wall, and waits outside the car door until it's opened. She gets in.

**CUT TO :**

**INSIDE CAR**  
MAMORU CHIBA sits in the driver's seat. Luna sits on the passenger's seat.

**MAMORU** :  <So how is she?>  
 **LUNA** :  <Not good. Physically she's fine but she's in a coma...>  
 **MAMORU** :  <Hm... sorry.>  
 **LUNA** :  <This is bad. Very Bad. We'd better get moving... we may not have much time.>

**FADE OUT**

**CLOSING CREDITS** \- "Otome No Policy" (Maiden's Policy)

**TEASER**  
 **LISA** : So what was that about? Who were those strange new soldiers, and why the heck were they so bossy? They can't tell me what to do! The Sailor Soldiers attempt to track down the new arrivals and that mysterious new enemy, next episode! "Zealot Attacks! Yet Another Riot In Springfield!"


	2. Zealot Attacks! Yet Another Riot In Springfield!

**EXT : GARDEN - DAY**  
LUNA jumps over the garden fence and lands in this garden, in the middle of a small pumpkin patch. She lands on a large pumpkin, and it wobbles slightly but she manages to keep her balance. Luna sighs heavily.

**LUNA** : I'm tired... my, I forgot how far it was from the baseball field to her house. I'll take a rest soon...

She springs from the pumpkin one the top of a (unlit) barbecue and to the roof of a shed. Then she leaps from the shed roof into the next garden.

**CUT TO :**

**CLOSEUP OF LUNA**  
She's lying on her back.

**LUNA** : Ah, a nice rest under the sun... hm, I'd better be careful not to go to sleep here. I don't have time to snooze.

Luna lies there for a moment... her eyes close slowly...

**LUNA** : Well, maybe a little sleep...

She closes her eyes. After a brief moment the camera pans out to show she's sleeping on a doghouse, and SNOOPY is standing over her with a ticked-off look on his face.  
Snoopy mimes rolling up his sleeves, leans over Luna's face, and tries to ROAR. Luna wakes up with a start.

**LUNA** (shocked) : AAAGH! What the... (sees Snoopy) Oh, it's you...

Luna snarls at Snoopy, and waves her claws at him. He looks terrified for a moment, then runs and hides inside his doghouse. Luna starts casually cleaning her paw.

**LUNA** (smirk) : Looks like I've still got it...

**FADE TO WHITE**

  
**PSSM INTRO SEQUENCE GOES HERE.**  
Bart’s Blackboard Line - "You get to burning" should not be taken literally.  
"You get to burning" should not be taken literally  
"You get to burning" should not be taken literally  
"You get to burning" should...  
Couch Scene - An egg of Daimon lands on the couch and transforms it into an evil couch-daimon. MOON-LISA runs onscreen and throws her tiara at the couch, which is vaporised. HOMER runs onscreen, falls to his knees and cries over the shattered remains of his couch.

  
**PRETTY SOLDIER SIMPSON MOON R**

**Episode 2 : Zealot Attacks! Yet Another Riot In Springfield!**

**By GKScotty**

**INTRO MONTAGE**  
LISA stands with her back to you. As the voiceover talks, she turns and gives the V (victory) sign.

**LISA** (VO) : Hi, I’m Lisa Simpson!

Show a selection of sequences with ALLISON, JESSICA, LAURA and MINAKO. Doesn't matter what...

**LISA** (VO) : My friends and I are the Pretty Soldiers of Love and Justice, the Sailor Soldiers! Or at least we thought we were...

Show scenes of the shadowed girls and the mystery woman.

**LISA** (VO) : But yesterday we encountered not only a new enemy, but also 3 mysterious sailor soldiers who helped us out, and then told us to stay out their way! Humph! Well, I'm not going to be bossed around like that! We're having a Sailor meeting tonight to decide what to do about this, right after mom and dad leave...

  
**INT : SIMPSON LIVING ROOM -NIGHT**  
HOMER is here, wearing a suit. BART has wrapped himself around Homer's leg and is holding on as if his life depended on it.

**BART** : No Homer, please don't leave me alone here, not when they're having a slumber party!  
 **HOMER** : Just grin and bear it boy. Stay out of their way and you'll be fine!  
 **BART** : But Dad! You were an only child, you don't know (eyes goggle) the horror!

Homer reaches down, and detaches Bart from his leg.

**HOMER** : Bart, I may be slow, but there's one thing I've eventually learned about you. You only call me Dad when you're trying to manipulate me.  
 **BART** : No I don't (emphasis) Daad.  
 **HOMER** : Stop that boy. Now come on. How bad can it be, being the only male in the house when your sister is having a slumber party? (wink wink nudge nudge) Lots of cute young things in the house... and the babysitter! Whoo-wee!  
 **BART** (glare) : But they're what I'm afraid of!

**CUT TO :**

**HALLWAY**  
The doorbell rings. MARGE answers it. She's wearing an evening dress. She also has blue marks on her cheeks and forehead.

**MARGE** : Just coming...

She opens the door, and LAURA steps in.

**LAURA** (politely) : Good evening Mrs Simpson.  
 **MARGE** : Oh, hello Laura, come in. (Laura enters and Marge shuts the door. She calls offscreen) Homer! Laura's here! (to Laura) It's good of you to come over at such short notice.  
 **LAURA** (polite) : Oh, it's my pleasure Mrs Simpson.  
 **MARGE** : Are you sure you can handle 3 girls and Bart by yourself though?  
 **LAURA** : Don't worry Mrs Simpson. I have a friend coming.  
 **MARGE** : Oh? (glare) A boyfriend?  
 **LAURA** : No, no, a girl. Minako.  
 **MARGE** : Oh, the Japanese girl? That's okay then. (calls offscreen) HOMER!  
 **HOMER** (OS) : I'm coming, I'm coming!

Homer walks on-screen - Bart has glomped onto his chest.

**BART** : Please Dad! Don't abandon me here, take me with you! I'll hide under the table and keep quiet, I swear!  
 **HOMER** : I already told you, no! The Jebbie awards are adults only, Bart!

Homer grabs Bart and pulls him off his chest. He than hangs Bart from the post on the banister by his T-shirt. Bart hangs helplessly on the stairpost. Homer straightens his tie.

**MARGE** : Remember Laura, if there's any problems our mobile number's on the fridge, and if Bart causes any trouble don't call 911, there's a special line for Bart incidents at 913.  
 **LAURA** : Gotcha.  
 **MARGE** : Good. (calls upstairs) We're going, Lisa! Have a good night! Leave Bart alone!  
 **LISA/ALLISON** : Okay!  
 **MARGE** : There, Bart, you've got nothing to fear. See you after 11!

Homer and Marge leave and shut the front door behind them. Bart looks at Laura.

**BART** : Sweet Laura, you'll protect me, won't you?  
 **LAURA** : I'll see what I can do...  
 **LISA** (OS) : Aw, you wouldn't spoil our innocent fun, would you Laura?

Bart looks behind him in fear. LISA, ALLISON and JESSICA are descending the stairs behind him in pyjamas and nightgowns. Jessica leans closer to Bart's face. Bart looks nervous.

**JESSICA** : We'd included you in our plans for tonight, Bartie... we didn't want you to feel left out...

As Jessica finishes speaking, Bart SCREAMS, wriggles out of his T-shirt, drops to the ground and dashes upstairs past the girls. After he runs from shot, the sound of his door SLAMMING is heard. Lisa, Jessica and Allison giggle to themselves. Lisa looks up at Laura.

**LISA** : That should keep him out of our hair while we have the Sailor meeting.

**CUT TO :**

**LIVING ROOM - LATER**  
Lisa, Allison, Laura, Jessica, MINAKO and ARTEMIS sit on the couches and chairs.

**MINAKO** : So lets hear it, Allison-chan, Lisa-chan.  
 **ARTEMIS** : Yeah, what happened?  
 **LISA** : Hm... well, let's see. You know what the news said of course...

Shots of the possessed balls from the last ep.

**LISA** (CONT) : The school was attacked by possessed soccer balls and other weird things.  
 **LAURA** : Yeah, we know that.  
 **JESSICA** : But you mentioned a weird person and some other soldiers.  
 **ALLISON** : Yeah. There was a person who was controlling the balls. But we never got a good look at her. And then there were three other Sailor Soldiers who turned up.  
 **JESSICA** : And saved you.  
 **ALLISON** (cough) : Yes. And saved us.  
 **LISA** (looks at Allison) : One seemed to be called "Sailor Mercury" like Allison, but her water attack was much more powerful...  
 **ALLISON** (puts chin in hands) : It's true... she really outshone me...  
 **LISA** (looks at Jessica) : The other got called "Sailor Mars" at one point. She had a really powerful fire attack, more powerful than yours Jessica...  
 **JESSICA** (pout) : Hmph. Must have been a fluke.  
 **LISA** (looks at Laura) : And the last wasn't named, but she used a lightning-based attack, like Sailor Jupiter's.  
 **LAURA** : Hm...  
 **ALLISON** : They all spoke Japanese, but the Mercury one also spoke English and told us not to turn into Sailor Soldiers again. They said there was a new enemy about, and turning into sailors would only help the enemy.  
 **MINAKO** : Huh? I don't get it... if we're fighting the enemy, how can that help them?  
 **LISA** : I don't know.  
 **ALLISON** : Me neither.  
 **JESSICA** : It doesn't make much sense.  
 **ARTEMIS** : Maybe they just want you to stay out of harms way.  
 **LAURA** : Or maybe they just want us to keep out of their way. Maybe they don't want us to help.

A pause.

**LISA** : Should we stay out of their way?

Another pause.

**MINAKO** : Iie.  
 **LISA** : Huh.  
 **MINAKO** (dramatic) : I don't know who these new hotshot sailors are, but I don't think we should give in. What if there was an attack and they weren't around? We couldn't sit back and let the enemy do what they want, could we?  
 **LAURA** : Hey, you're right!  
 **MINAKO** (smart) : It's like I always say - "Make yourselves sheep and the wools will heat you."

A pause.

**ALLISON** : I think you mean "Make yourselves sheep and the wolves will eat you."  
 **LISA** : And you didn't say that, Ben Franklin did!  
 **MINAKO** : Ano...  
 **ARTEMIS** : Well, now that we're decided about carrying on, I think the first thing we need to do is find these possible allies again!  
 **LISA** : Tomorrow's the last day of term, so it's a half school day.  
 **JESSICA** : It's not a half-day at my school, but I'll sneak out at lunch anyway and meet you.  
 **LAURA** : Won't they notice you're gone?  
 **JESSICA** : They never do. I'm meant to be in bed at the school right now but they don't know I'm here.  
 **ALLISON** : I see...  
 **LAURA** : Okay then. After the half-day we'll meet up and search Springfield. Agreed?  
 **LISA/ALLISON/JESSICA/MINAKO/ARTEMIS** : Agreed!  
 **ARTEMIS** : Okay then, the meeting is finished. You may continue your slumber party.

**CUT TO :**

**BART'S ROOM**  
The room is dark. Bart sits at the head of his bed, clutching his knees to his chest. He rocks back and forth as he talks.

**BART** (scared, muttering) : They're coming for me slumber party slumber party gotta escape they're coming for me no escape slumber party gotta escape they're coming for me slumber party slumber party gotta escape they're coming for me no escape slumber party gotta escape...

**CUT TO :**

**BART'S DOORKNOB**  
The doorknob rattles.

**CUT TO :**

**BART**  
Bart looks up.

**BART** : They've come for me...

**CUT TO :**

**DOOR**  
The door handle turns, and the door swings open. Lisa, Allison and Jessica are silhouetted against the light in the hallway.

**LISA** (echo) : We've come for you.

**CUT TO :**

**BART**  
He shrinks back against his headboard. Lisa and Allison approach him on either side of the bed.

**LISA** : Bart, we were wondering if you could help us...  
 **ALLISON** : We were going to play a fun game, but we need a model.  
 **BART** (scared) : A, a model?

Jessica steps out from nowhere, holding a bucket of cold water in her hands. She splashes the water over Bart. There is a big splash, and when it's gone Bart has a braided pigtail and longer eyelashes.

**BART-CHAN** : Hey! What'd you do that for?

**CUT TO :**

**HALLWAY, LOOKING AT BART'S DOOR**  
The girl's voices are heard. Camera very slowly moves away from Bart's door.

**JESSICA** (OS) : Get him! Hold him still!  
 **LISA** (OS) : I'll start undoing this braid...  
 **BART-CHAN** (OS) : Waugh? HELP!  
 **ALLISON** (OS) : Where's the costume and makeup Lisa?  
 **LISA** (OS) : In my room.  
 **BART-CHAN** (OS) : What? HELLLLLP!

**CUT TO :**

**TV ROOM**  
Laura and Minako are curled up on either end of the couch. Minako is reading a manga, and Laura watches TV.

**TV ANNOUNCER** : We now bring you back to "Who Wants to Divorce A Millionaire" with Troy McClure.

**CUT TO :**

**TV SHOW**  
TROY McCLURE sits in a judge's box.

**TROY** : Hi, and welcome back to "Who Wants To Divorce a Millionaire." I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such game shows as "Lawsuit Challenge!" and "Parole or Prison? You decide!"

Camera pans over to two contestants, sitting in the Defence and Prosecution areas. The audience is sat behind them.

**TROY** (cont) : Today's contestants are Mike and Shirley, an ex-couple from Long Beach Shirley is currently in the lead, with 63% of their cash, and before we went to commercials she had just won a bonus prize! So Shirley, what'll it be?

**CUT TO :**

**PRIZES**  
Close-up of a silver Lexus.

**TROY** (OS, cont) : The Lexus...

Close-up of a picture of a mansion.

**TROY** (OS, cont) : The 8-bedroom house...

Close-up of some shining silverware.

**TROY** : The honeymoon silverware...

Close-up of a BOY and a GIRL, looking quite depressed.

**TROY** (OS, cont) : Or custody of the children?

Shot of Shirley, looking thoughtful. Shot of a section of the audience.

**AUDIENCE** (chanting) : LEXUS! LEXUS! LEXUS!

Pan to another section of the audience.

**AUDIENCE** (chanting) : SILVER! SILVER! SILVER!

Pan to the two kids.

**KIDS** (chanting) : CUSTODY! CUSTODY! CUSTODY!

**CUT TO :**

Laura is watching the show, looking bored. BART-CHAN walks in front of her. He (she?) is dressed as Sailor Moon, and she (he?) has his (her?) hair tied up in odangos. Make-up is messily applied to her (his?) face. Bart-chan sways slightly and looks miserable...

**BART-CHAN** : Please... save me...  
 **LAURA** (confused) : Bart... that's really not your style...  
 **MINAKO** : Yeah. You look the worse for wearing.  
 **LAURA** (thoughtful) : Okay... I think it's the girls' bedtime...  
 **BART-CHAN** (falls to knees) : Oh thank god! Hallelujah!

**FADE OUT**

  
**EXT : ESTABLISHING - SPRINGFIELD ELEMENTARY SCHOOL**

**5TH GRADE CLASSROOM**  
All the kids in the class are running riot. The class includes BART, MILHOUSE, NELSON, MARTIN, SHERRI, TERRI, LEWIS, RICHARD and more I probably forgot. The TEACHER, an older man arrives.

**TEACHER** : okay! Settle down, I know it's the last day of school but we still have work to do. (the class does not respond. Only Martin turns to face the teacher) Excuse me! I said we have work to do! (class does not respond) Okay! First person to put their hand up will retroactively be awarded straight A's for the whole year!

Class still doesn't respond, but Martin puts his hand up in the air urgently. The teacher looks at him scornfully.

**TEACHER** (annoyed) : Put your hand down Martin, you already have straight A's.  
 **MARTIN** (disappointed) : Oh...

**CUT TO :**

**CORRIDOR**  
A stall has been set up, with a banner that says "Yearbooks." Some older pupils are manning the stall, and there is a large crowd of kids pushing and shoving in front of it.

**CUT TO :**

**INSIDE THE CROWD**  
LISA is inside the crowd, getting pushed around.

**LISA** : Hey, quit pushing... (pushes) come on, let me through (to boy behind her) Hey! Stop that! (to self) Don't force me to "Sailor Moon Kick!" now. (to all) Come on, let me through...

Lisa makes her way to the front of the crowd, and a yearbook is thrust into her hands. She struggles back out of the crowd and meets ALLISON, who already has a yearbook.

**ALLISON** (sigh) : It's the same every year, isn't it...  
 **LISA** : Yeah. (realises) Huh? How would you know? You've only been here two years.  
 **ALLISON** : Educated guess.  
 **LISA** : Ah, of course. (opens book) Well, lets see how this is... (looks in)

**CUT TO :**

**THE BOOK**  
Lisa flicks through the pages - there are captions (Science Club, Photography Club, Fight Club and so on) but no pictures, just blank space!

**LISA** : Heh-hey! Where are the pictures? The photos! What happened to these yearbooks?

**CUT TO :**

**THE CORRIDOR**  
PRINCIPAL SKINNER walks up behind Lisa.

**ALLISON** : Principal Skinner!  
 **SKINNER** : I'm afraid there's some bad news about the yearbooks... Because it is required that this state's public schools honour and respect the beliefs of every non-Judeo-Christian religion, we can't have pictures in our yearbook because our American-Easter-Islanders believe that (rolls eyes) pictures steal their souls.  
 **LISA** : But how can we have a yearbook without pictures?  
 **SKINNER** : Well, we did figure out something. After the Easter islanders went away, we found some foreign photography students who were willing to work for FREE.  
 **LISA** (warily) : FREE?  
 **SKINNER** : That's what I said, FREE. It's a digital camera, so once the picture's taken it will be printed out onto stickers to be stuck into your yearbook, and you can also get the image e-mailed to your computer to print out if you need more. The photographers will be setting up a small tent outside at lunch.  
 **LISA** (suspicious) : Oh? That's interesting. Well... thanks Principal Skinner, (looks at Allison) we need to go now.

Lisa walks off, pulling Allison at first. They head off down a corridor and round a corner.

**LISA** : Did that sound suspicious to you?  
 **ALLISON** : He used the magic word, FREE. Very suspicious. Back when we were fighting the Dark Kingdom, FREE always meant a plot to steal people's energy.  
 **LISA** : Yeah, that's just what I was thinking. We'd better check this out.

  
**EXT : PLAYING FIELD - DAY**  
An aerial view of the field, where a small white tent has been set up. A long queue of KIDS stretches away from the tent. The queue ends at the photographer herself, whose equipment is set up just inside the tent.

**CUT TO :**

**VIEW FROM PHOTOGRAPHER'S CAMERA, INSIDE TENT**  
A crosshairs and various other icons are superimposed onto the view. All that is seen is an empty bench in the tent.

**VOICE** (female, Japanese accent, OS) : Could the next person come in, please?

JANEY, SHERRI, TERRI and ALEX walk onscreen and sit down on the bench. All four wear pink and indigo gymnastics costumes.

**VOICE** : Hello, I am the photographer, Ms Mizuno. May I ask who you are for the printout?  
 **JANEY** : We're the rhythmic gymnastics martial arts team.  
 **SHERRI** (Chinese accent) : Is true! Sherri is clubs user!  
 **TERRI** (glare) : Would you *stop* talking like that? You can speak English just fine!

**CUT TO :**

**VIEW OF CAMERA**  
MIZUNO AMI is a little hunched over, looking into her camera's viewfinder. She stands up, sighing slightly, and then smiles at the girls. Ami is a girl of about 15 years old. She is Japanese and has short blue hair that comes down to about chin level.  
Two black cables are attached to the camera.

**AMI** : Okay everybody, say "chiizu!" please! (leans back down)  
 **GYMNASTS** : Cheese!

Ami takes the photo.

**AMI** : It is done! If you head outside my friend will have your photo ready in a moment! Thank you for using us!  
 **JANEY** : Thanks!

The gymnasts leave. Zoom in on one of the cables attached to the camera. Follow the cables as it runs out of the tent and to a table at the other side of the tent from the queue. KINO MAKOTO stands behind this table. She is the same age as Ami, but unusually tall. She wears her brown hair in a ponytail and has green eyes.  
There is a computer and printer sitting on her table, loaded with special photo paper. The computer beeps, and she looks at the screen.

**MAKOTO** (to self) :  <Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics? Wow, haven't heard of that style...>

She looks up.

**MAKOTO** (calling, struggling) : Uh, Marshal Art Rhythmic Gymnastic?

Janey walks up to her.

**JANEY** : Hi, that's us.  
 **MAKOTO** (struggling) : Ah. How many please?  
 **JANEY** : Four.  
 **MAKOTO** : O K!

She types a few keys on the computer. The printer starts to print off four sheets of stickers with the photo. Makoto picks up the photos and hands them to Janey.

**MAKOTO** : Here you go. Thank you!  
 **JANEY** : Thanks!  
 **MAKOTO** : You welcome!

Janey leaves, and Makoto slumps down on the table, her chin on her palm.

**MAKOTO** : (sigh)  <I knew I should have studied English harder...>

**CUT TO :**

**IN THE TENT**  
Ami is bent over her camera again.

**AMI** : Say "cheese!" please!

**CUT TO :**

**BENCH**  
LISA is sitting on the bench.

**LISA** : Cheese!

**CUT TO :**

**AMI'S CAMERA**  
There is a flash as Ami takes the photo. Zoom in on the second cable that's coming from her camera.

**AMI** (OS) : Thank you! If you go out through there my friend will have your photo ready soon!

As she talks, follow the cable. It goes down to the ground and under a flap in the tent, to...

**CUT TO :**

**BACK ROOM OF TENT**  
Close-up of a printer. It whirrs into action, printing out a single copy of Lisa's picture... which lands on a large pile of photos.

**VOICE** (OS, female) :  <Oh, this is boring...>

Camera pans over to show the girl. (TSUKINO USAGI) She has blonde hair, tied into a pair of dumpling-sized balls on top of her head. A very long (ankle length) stream of hair comes from each dumpling. Usagi is 15 years old. She sits at a desk next to the printer, looking at the photos.

**USAGI** (looking at photos, bored) :  <No, boy, boy, don't know her, boy, nope, boy...>

The next photo is Janey and the gymnasts.

**USAGI** :  <Don't recognise any of them... (sigh) Oh, this is so boring... and I'm tired. (yawn) Maybe I'll have a quick nap...>

She puts her arms on the desk and rests her head on them. Within seconds she's snoring away.  
A figure steps up behind Usagi. She taps Usagi's shoulder with a finger.

**GIRL** :  <Usagi...>

No reaction, Usagi keeps snoring. She taps Usagi's shoulder again, pressing a bit harder. No reaction, Usagi snoozes on...  
The person's hands come down and shake Usagi!

**GIRL** :  <USAGI!>  
 **USAGI** :  <WAAAAAAAGH! (gets bearings, looks up at the girl) Ah, Rei-chan... hey, couldn't you be more gentle?!?>

HINO REI is a girl with long black hair, who is about the same age as Usagi. She's got a very strict expression on her face right now, though she's normally quite a bit nicer.

**REI** (stern) :  <Usagi... you do remember why we're here, right? To find that princess, like Luna said?>  
 **USAGI** :  <The Princess? I thought I was The Princess...>  
 **REI** (sigh) :  <You're The Princess, dummy. We have to find The Other Princess before the enemy does. And that means figuring out who she really is.>

Usagi turns back to her pile of photos.

**USAGI** (pout) :  <Maybe... but there's got to be a better way of finding out than looking at all these photos. This is boring...>  
 **REI** :  <Maybe, but it's the best way to see what all the girls in Springfield look like. We know she must go to this school. One of these photographs must have her in it, and you knew her back in the Moon Kingdom. So Usagi, if you think you recognise a girl, tell us!>  
 **USAGI** (bored) :  <Yes, yes...>  
 **REI** :  <Okay. I'm going to go help Makoto for a while. (strict) Keep looking!>

Rei leaves Usagi, who yawns.

**USAGI** :  <Oh well. Okay! (bold) Now, I will get on with this! (clenches fist) After all, the fate of the earth is at stake... (shrug) or something like that... and besides, the quicker I get this done the sooner I can have a break!>

She starts busily shuffling through the photos. Then shuffles more slowly. Then shuffles very slowly...

**USAGI** :  <Aagh... this is still boring...>

Usagi puts down her current pic, and picks up the one of Lisa. As she looks at the pic, Usagi's face seems to go a little blank(-er.) She stares at the photo... something strange seems to be happening to it. Lisa's clothing seems to flicker between her normal red dress and a white gown with puffy shoulders. After a moment's more staring, Usagi puts down the photo and puts her hands on her head.

**USAGI** (pained) :  <I must be working too hard... this headache is terrible! (sigh, yawn) Well, a little break won't hurt...>

Usagi rests her head in her arms and dozes off in seconds.

**CUT TO :**

**TABLE OUTSIDE**  
Close-up of the printer on the table. It whirrs into life and prints out the picture of Lisa. Camera zooms out a little. Makoto picks up the picture and hands it to Lisa.

**MAKOTO** : Here is you picture. Thank you for using us!  
 **LISA** (warily) : Uh, thanks.

  
**INT : SCHOOL STORE ROOM, LATER**  
A dark room full of shelves of ASSORTED JUNK. ALLISON and LISA enter, and Allison heads over to a specific pile of junk.

**ALLISON** : Here it is.

She picks some junk off a white object, which turns out to be a flatbed scanner.

**LISA** : I didn't know this school has a scanner...  
 **ALLISON** : Principal Skinner thought we might need one, but he neglected to get any new computers to run it on...  
 **LISA** : Figures...  
 **ALLISON** : Yeah. Hey, put the photos in, will you?

Lisa puts the photos in the scanner, while Allison pops open the back of the Mercury Computer and plugs the scanner in.

**CUT TO :**

**MERCURY COMPUTER SCREEN**  
Photoshop is on the screen. The photos of Lisa and Allison quickly scan onto the screen.

**LISA** (OS) : They look normal enough.  
 **ALLISON** (OS) : For now. Lets see...

Allison's finger appears in front of the screen, and she points at the "Filters" menu,, opening it. It's a touch screen computer. The Filters menu opens - it has the usual filter categories, and also a "Supernatural" category. Allison opens the category, and hovers her hand over "Detect Evil."

**LISA** (OS) : You have a "Detect Evil" filter? Wow, this program has a plugin for everything!  
 **ALLISON** : Yeah... now lets see...

She presses the screen, and both pictures turn mostly white.

**LISA** : Huh, they've gone white...

**CUT TO :**

**THE ROOM**  
Allison sits in front of the computer and Lisa is behind her shoulder. They both look at the screen.

**LISA** : What does that mean?  
 **ALLISON** : Well, the more evil the picture has in it, the darker the picture should be... but this is almost completely white! Even though it's us in the picture, you'd expect that there would be at least some background evil - we should be a white silhouette against a grey or black background, or the entire thing should be black if the paper itself is evil.  
 **LISA** (puzzled) : That's strange... (looks at Allison) Skinner did say "free," right?  
 **ALLISON** : He did. I guess they were legitimate. The Dark Kingdom's really gone.

Allison starts to unplug the computer.

**LISA** : Oh well, that's good. Lets go meet the others...

**CUT TO :**

**USAGI SNOOZING**  
Back in the tent again. USAGI leans on the table with her cheek lying on her forearms, quietly snoozing away.

**USAGI** (sleeping, to self) :  <Ah, Mamo-chan... you love me don't you? (deeper voice) Yes Usagi my love, I love you the most! Much, much more than Chibiusa and even more than Rei! (normal voice) Ah! Mamo-chan, you make me so happy... of course, I knew you couldn't possibly love Rei...>

Pull back to show REI, MAKOTO and AMI. Rei looks very annoyed, and is trying to walk toward Usagi but Makoto and Ami are restraining her. A struggle ensues.

**REI** (angry) :  <Hey! Let me go, I'm only going to go wake her up>  
 **AMI** :  <Rei, I think maybe you should wait just a moment...>  
 **MAKOTO** :  <At least until you've calmed down a little... (looks at Rei's scowling face, sigh) I know that look...>

Rei break's free of their grasps.

**REI** :  <Huh! I'm not going to kill her! Just... tell her off...>

Rei stomps over to where Usagi is sleeping, and takes a deep breath...

**REI** : UUUSAAAAAAGIIIIIII!

Usagi wakes suddenly.

**USAGI** :  <Waaaaaaaa! (looks around) Oh! Rei-chan... why'd you have to wake me? I was having a wonderful dream about Mamo-chan...>  
 **REI** :  <So we already heard. (gets in Usagi's face) Just what is so unlovable about me, huh?>

Rei starts leaving over Usagi, making Usagi cower back in her chair.

**USAGI** :  <Unlovable? What?>  
 **REI** :  <You said I was unlovable in your sleep!>  
 **USAGI** :  <I did? (looks at Ami and Makoto) Did I?>

They shrug their shoulders.

**REI** :  <Yes you did!>  
 **USAGI** :  <I did? Oh... I don't remember anything about the dream now except Mamo-chan...>

Rei just continues to glare at Usagi, her eye twitching a little.

**MAKOTO** :  <Rei... that should be enough about that...>  
 **AMI** :  <Yes... the real issue is that Usagi should have been checking those photographs...>  
 **REI** (not missing a beat) :  <Yeah Usagi, why weren't you doing that instead of sleeping, honestly, I leave you alone for a minute and...>  
 **USAGI** :  <Huh? But I checked all the pictures...>

She turns, and sees a new pile of photos next to the printer.

**USAGI** :  <Aah! Where did they come from?>  
 **MAKOTO** :  <We probably took those photos while you were asleep....>  
 **AMI** :  <Well, It doesn't matter now. If this princess was among those girls, she'll have left the school by now. But we can keep the pictures and check them later.>  
 **MAKOTO** :  <Did you find any girls who could be the princess, Usagi?>  
 **USAGI** :  <Ah, no... I didn't see anyone I recognised.>  
 **AMI** :  <Well, she's got to be in one of these pictures. This is the school Luna said she went to. So today shouldn't be a total waste.>  
 **REI** :  <Yes, it would be a shame to waste all that money we spent renting this equipment and those Easter Island costumes...>  
 **USAGI** :  <Good thing that was the money Luna gave us...>  
 **REI** :  <We can't waste money just because Luna gave it to us!>

Ami leans over to Makoto and whispers to her.

**AMI** (whisper) :  <We shouldn't let Rei see Usagi's room service tab...>  
 **MAKOTO** (whisper) :  <I agree... (to self) Or mine.>

Makoto smiles guiltily. Usagi looks around at everyone.

**USAGI** :  <So now what do we do?>  
 **AMI** :  <We still need to clean up here.>  
 **REI** :  <And we all need to double-check these photos once we get back to the hotel.>  
 **USAGI** :  <And after that we'll go out and have some fun?>  
 **AMI** :  <It'll be a few hours before we finish tidying up here, and then by the time we've got supper and looked through these photos, it'll be quite late.>  
 **REI** :  <Grandfather made me promise we wouldn't do anything stupid. We don't know the language well or the town itself. It wouldn't be good for us to be out too late.>  
 **USAGI** :  <Awww! But... we've been here for a few days now! And we've done nothing, it's been work, work, work!>  
 **REI** (annoyed) :  <This isn't a holiday! We're here to find that girl, remember, and stop her!>  
 **USAGI** :  <There is that... but you didn't take that call from Luna when she told us to come here! She actually said - "You can make a holiday of it.">  
 **REI** :  <Yes, but the holiday is children's day and if we can't find them there'll be big trouble!>

Usagi laughs.

**USAGI** :  <Rei, Children's day was nearly a month ago! You didn't miss it did you?>

Rei groans a little, and puts her hand to her forehead.

**REI** :  <Just... never mind Usagi.>

Makoto leans back in her chair.

**MAKOTO** :  <Still, Usagi has a point. I'd like to go out too.>  
 **AMI** :  <It might be a very good idea to (face twitches) scout out the town as well. We never know when we'll next need to fight here. It would be good to know the layout of the streets in advance.>  
 **USAGI** :  <Yes, especially the shopping centre!>  
 **REI** (smile) :  <I'd like to go out too. (serious) But we do have to get this cleared up. We can't leave it here all night after all.>  
 **MAKOTO** :  <Well, how about we split up? Three of us take the photographs back to the hotel, and look around Springfield on the way. The fourth stays here and starts tidying up, and the others come back to help her after an hour.>  
 **AMI** :  <It sounds like a good plan.>  
 **REI** :  <Sounds fair.>  
 **USAGI** :  <Yeah, lets do it! But, ah, how will we decide who stays?>

Makoto grabs a piece of paper.

**CUT TO :**

**CLOSEUP OF MAKOTO'S FIST**  
She clenches 4 twisted pieces of paper in her fist.

**MAKOTO** :  <Everyone draw straws!>

**CUT TO :**

**USAGI**  
She pulls out a straw. It has a white end.

**USAGI** :  <All right!>

**CUT TO :**

**AMI**  
Ami draws a straw. It's got a white end. She serenely smiles at it.

**CUT TO :**

**REI**  
Rei is about to draw her straw.

**REI** :  <Here goes...>

She draws the straw. It has a red tip. She looks at it.

**REI** :  <Oh... well... (glares at it) ah nuts.>

Usagi leans in and looks at the straw.

**USAGI** (sympathetic) :  <Oh... that's bad luck, Rei-chan...>

Rei folds her arms and turns a little. She's slightly annoyed after all but tries not to show it.

**REI** :  <It's okay. I don't mind being the responsible one.>

Makoto packs the photos into a bag and puts it over her shoulder.

**MAKOTO** :  <You're sure?>  
 **REI** :  <Yeah, I'm fine. (smile) You go off and explore!>  
 **MAKOTO** :  <Okay...>

Usagi, Ami and Makoto start to leave.

**AMI** :  <We'll be back to help once we've taken the photos home.>  
 **USAGI** :  <See you later Rei-chan!>  
 **REI** (still annoyed) :  <Yeah... bye...>

The others leave. Rei looks around the tent.

**REI** (confused) :  <Now where am I supposed to start?>

 

  
**AD BREAK BUMPER** \- A Super Deformed (SD) Mars-Jessica jumps on from the right of the screen. A SD Merc-Allison jumps on from the left of the screen. SD Jup-Laura drops down from the top. SD Venus-Minako hops on from the left, but trips as she lands and falls on Merc-Allison and Mars-Jessica. SD Moon-Lisa walks on from the side, looks at the tangled bodies and scratches her head, puzzled, as the Simpson Moon R logo appears over their heads.

  
**EXT : SPRINGFIELD MAIN STREET, LATER**  
LISA and ALLISON walk along the street, looking around. They have their schoolbags, and carry their yearbooks under their arms. Photos stick out from between the pages of the books.

**ALLISON** : Where did she say we should meet her?  
 **LISA** (looks up) : Just at this tree.

Pull out to show Lisa looking up at a tree.

**LISA** (puzzled) : But I don't see her around.  
 **ALLISON** : I wonder where she's got to.

Lisa looks around, and sees a group of SCHOOLGIRLS approaching. They wear the uniforms of the Sister Mary Celine Convent School, and are flanked and led by some NUNS.

**LISA** : Woah!

Lisa and Allison push themselves against the wall as the crowd pushes past. A lot of the girls are misbehaving, and the nuns are keeping a very strict eye on some of them, constantly telling them to be quiet and walk. After a moment the crowd passes, allowing Lisa and Allison to breathe again.

**ALLISON** : That was Jessica's class, wasn't it?  
 **LISA** : Yeah, but I didn't see her.  
 **JESSICA** (OS) : Hey, up here!

Lisa and Allison look up into the tree. JESSICA is sitting in it's branches.

**LISA** (surprised) : Jessica? How'd you get up there without being seen?

Jessica makes a derisory snort.

**JESSICA** : All those nuns are practically as blind as a bat. If you keep your mouth shut they hardly notice you.

Jessica jumps down from the tree.

**JESSICA** : Did you bring the clothes?

**CUT TO :**

**LADIES PUBLIC TOILET**  
View is facing a number of closed cubicle doors. Lisa and Allison stand on either side of the middle door. Jessica is inside the cubicle - we can see her shoes.

**JESSICA** : You know Lisa... when I asked you to bring me a change of clothes today... I meant *good* clothes.

She opens the door, and we can see her wearing one of Lisa's red dresses! Lisa frowns, and Allison laughs to herself a little.

**LISA** : "Good" clothes? What's wrong with that one?  
 **JESSICA** : I look like I'm your sister! (tugs at top of dress) And it's too tight!  
 **LISA** : Well, you are two years older than me, you'd think it'd be a little small...  
 **JESSICA** : Couldn't you have got something that fit?  
 **LISA** : Like what? The only thing I would be able to get is Bart's stuff.

Jessica makes a face.

**JESSICA** : Eugh... no thanks.  
 **ALLISON** : If it bothers you too much, why not put your school uniform back on?  
 **JESSICA** : Because if I was seen in it I might get taken back to school.  
 **LISA** : So wear the dress.  
 **JESSICA** : But if I'm seen in that people'll think I'm...  
 **LISA** (glare) : A nerd?  
 **JESSICA** : Exactly! Never mind... I'll wear the school uniform.

Jessica goes back inside the cubicle and closes the door.

**JESSICA** : Hmph, I should have asked Laura to bring me clothes instead...  
 **ALLISON** : She's a teenager, nothing she has would fit you. It'd be too baggy.  
 **JESSICA** (defensive) : It might not be that baggy... (vain) I am a growing girl after all...  
 **LISA** (rolls eyes) : Sure...

  
**INT : THE ANDROIDS DUNGEON COMIC BOOK SHOP - AT THAT MOMENT**  
The shop is busy and bustling. MINAKO stands behind the counter, serving customers. A lot of BOYS and NERDS are here, including BART, MILHOUSE, MARTIN, LEWIS, RICHARD, RALPH, WENDELL, (from the school) DATABASE, COSINE, E-MAIL, (from the Superfriends, episode "Bart's Comet") DOUG, BENJAMIN, GARY, (episode "Homer Goes To College") OTTO and THE COMIC BOOK GUY. (CBG) Mostly everyone is reading comics where they stand. CBG is holding court in a corner, dispensing his unchallengable knowledge on issues of grave importance.

**CBG** : I can say, without a doubt, that Amazon Woman's hair is blue.  
 **DOUG** : But it's purple!  
 **CBG** : It's blue!  
 **DOUG** : It's clearly purple!  
 **CBG** (stands, raises fist) : Blue!  
 **DOUG** (stands, shouts) : Purple!

Minako raises her head to speak. As if enchanted, everyone in the shop turns to look to her.

**MINAKO** : It has always looked like Indigo to me.

All the nerds and boys nod and murmur assent. They turn back to the CBG and Doug.

**DOUG** : Hm, it could be indigo after all...  
 **CBG** (shrug) : It's a possibility.

**SFX** : Bell ringing. Everyone in the shop turns to the door - LAURA has just entered.

**CUT TO :**

**EXTREME CLOSE UP OF DATABASE**  
He narrows his eyes and glares.

**DATABASE** : It's that girl...

**CUT TO :**

**EXTREME CLOSE UP OF MARTIN**  
He too narrows his eyes and glares.

**MARTIN** (cont) : ... come to take the fair Minako from us again...

**CUT TO :**

**LAURA**  
She laughs nervously. Everyone in the place (except Minako, who smiles, and Bart, who seems ready to swoon) is glaring at her. Laura carefully weaves her way in-between the nerds, and makes her way to Minako.

**LAURA** : Hi Minako. Are you ready?  
 **MINAKO** : Yes, I was only covering for Kevin for an hour.

She leaves the counter and approaches the Comic Book Guy.

**MAINKO** : I will be going now, Comic Book Guy-san.

All the nerds get a startled look on their faces, and talk rapidly to each other. The CBG sees this and stands, appealing for calm.

**CBG** : Please, do not be alarmed, Minako will be back tomorrow.

All nerds breathe a sigh of relief. CBG turns to Minako.

**CBG** (quiet) : Didn't I ask you not to say that in front of the customers? It upsets them...  
 **MINAKO** : I'm sorry.  
 **CBG** : That's okay. I will see you tomorrow. Good luck and Godspeed.

**CUT TO :**

**STREET OUTSIDE SHOP - LATER**  
Laura and Minako exit the shop, Minako carrying a light coat.

**LAURA** : How can you work there? That place creeps me out a bit.  
 **MINAKO** : It's not so bad. They're quite nice when you know them...

Minako reaches into one of her coat's pockets, and about a dozen envelopes accidentally fall out. They're covered in little love hearts. Minako looks at them and shudders.

**MINAKO** (cringing) : ... though there are big problems with being the only girl they see all week.

The two girls gather up the letters and walk off to the right. Camera follow them for just a moment, before quickly panning left past the shop - USAGI, AMI and MAKOTO are walking toward it, having missed the others by a mere moment. Usagi looks depressed, and Ami and Makoto are slightly annoyed.

**USAGI** (moaning) :  <but it was so cheap... I wanted to buy it...>  
 **AMI** :  <But it was a scam, Usagi-chan!>  
 **MAKOTO** :  <He wouldn't really have sold you that statue with the man and the bear, it wasn't his to sell!>  
 **USAGI** :  <But I promised I'd bring back souvenirs...>

Usagi sighs heavily, and her shoulders slump a little more. The trio pass by the comic store window, and Usagi freezes. She lets out a delighted squeal, and presses her face against the glass.

**USAGI** :  <Oh! Look!>

**CUT TO :**

**LOOKING INTO SHOP WINDOW**  
There is a display of comics. Among the display is a manga, entitled "Warmth." The cover depicts a pretty girl wrapped up in a coat, standing in a snowy village scene. It also has a price sticker saying $10 and a box on the cover saying "Parts 9-12"

**CUT TO :**

**STREET**  
Ami looks over Usagi's shoulder.

**AMI** :  <What is it?>  
 **USAGI** :  <Warmth volume 3! I missed one of those parts, and I never saw it in a shop back home! And it's cheap! I have to get it!>

Usagi pushes past Ami and Makoto and runs for the shop door.

**AMI** (startled) : Ah!  
 **MAKOTO** : Usagi!

Usagi enters the shop, and the other two quickly follow her.

**CUT TO :**

**INSIDE SHOP**  
Usagi bursts into the shop, followed by Ami and Makoto. All the nerds turn to look at them, startled. Then all the nerds sigh.

  
**CUT TO :**

**CLOSEUP OF DATABASE AND MARTIN**  
They gaze forward, entranced...

**DATABASE** : So, so wonderful...  
 **MARTIN** : Exotic, yet conservative...  
 **DATABASE** : Beautiful, but with a bookish charm...  
 **MARTIN** : And someone who looks even better with glasses!  
 **BOTH** (chorus) : I must make her mine!

**CUT TO :**

**CLOSEUP OF AMI'S FACE**  
She looks startled.

**AMI** :  <Eeek!>

Quick pan over to Makoto's face. She also looks startled by the attention.

**MAKOTO** : Otaku!

Move down to Usagi. She doesn't seem to have noticed the attention. She heads straight to the counter - the nervous nerds move out of her way. The Comic Book Guy is behind the counter.

**USAGI** :  <Hi! Could I have that Warmth collection in the window please!>

CBG looks down at Usagi, confused. He doesn't speak Japanese.

**CBG** : Excuse me?  
 **USAGI** :  <The Warmth collection in the window please!>  
 **CBG** : Okay... (slowly) Can - you - speak - English?  
 **USAGI** :  <The - Warmth - in - the - window.>  
 **CBG** (annoyed) : WHAT - WANT?  
 **USAGI** :  <WARMTH - WINDOW!>

Fortunately at this point someone with sense interjects. Ami approaches the counter.

**AMI** : Excuse me. My friend is trying to say that she wants the issue of "Warmth" volume 3 in your window.  
 **CBG** : Oh, right, that thing.

He stomps over to the window and grabs the manga, before returning to Ami. He sets the book down on the counter.

**CBG** : Can you tell your friend that it is ten dollars for the comic?  
 **AMI** : Yes. (to Usagi)  <Usagi, it's ten dollars.>  
 **USAGI** : O Kay!

Usagi looks around in her purse, and puts a dime on the table. CBG takes a look at it. His eye begins to twitch

**CBG** : Miss, I'll have you know that in addition to my masters in lore and mythology, I also received an "A" in global economics. The exchange rate from Yen to U.S. dollars results in the necessity of your paying far in excess of ten cents...

Usagi looks at him blankly for a moment, before smiling obliviously.

**CBG** : ... but sarcasm is lost on you, since you don't speak this language, (looks at Ami) correct?  
 **AMI** : It would probably be lost on her either way really... but it doesn't matter... I'll pay for this. (takes out $10 bill) On one condition...  
 **CBG** : Condition?  
 **AMI** : Could somebody please remove these boys from my ankles?

Zoom out a little. Martin and Database have glomped around Ami's ankles. CBG sighs to himself, and clicks his fingers.

**CBG** : Make it so.

Bart and Milhouse walk on, and drag Martin and Database away.

**BART** (to Martin) : Don't you think she's a little out of your league? She's got to be about four years older...  
 **MARTIN** : Silence cretin! In true love, such things do not matter!

**CUT TO :**

**OUTSIDE SHOP**  
Usagi, Ami and Makoto leave the shop, Usagi holding her manga. The wind appears to be picking up.

**USAGI** :  <Yes, I can't believe I got it! Lets have a look...>

She opens the comic. Her face falls.

**USAGI** :  <Hey... it's in English! (flicks through pages) And it's all backwards!>  
 **AMI** :  <It must be a translated version.>  
 **MAKOTO** :  <What were you expecting?>  
 **USAGI** (sigh) :  <Noooo.... oh well... I guess I can only look at the pictures...>

There is a long pause.

**USAGI** (irritated) :  <I'm waiting for someone to make a cruel comment...>  
 **MAKOTO** :  <We left Rei back at the tent, remember?>  
 **USAGI** :  <Oh yeah... silly me...>

There is a sudden gust of wind, and Usagi almost drops the manga.

**USAGI** :  <Woah! (looks around) Where did that come from?>

**CUT TO :**

**PARK - AT THAT MOMENT**  
LISA, ALLISON and JESSICA hang around, leaning against a small wall. Jessica is wearing her school uniform again. The wind is blowing.

**LISA** : So what are you doing over the summer Jessica? Will it be easier for you to get to sailor meetings now that we seem to have new enemies?  
 **JESSICA** : Dad wants me to stay at the school... so probably not...  
 **ALLISON** : What, he's making you stay there over the summer?  
 **JESSICA** : Yeah, he doesn't want me back over the holidays. (angry) But if that's what he wants, fine by me. (fake cheer) Don't worry girls, I'll be able to get out of that school just fine when you need me...  
 **LISA** (concerned) : Jessica...  
 **MINAKO** (OS) : LISA!

Everyone turns. Minako and Laura are running toward the group.

**LAURA** : Hi girls. Are you ready?  
 **LISA** : Yeah.  
 **JESSICA** : Hey Laura, lend me your jacket, will you?  
 **LAURA** : Sure... but why?  
 **JESSICA** : If the wrong people see me wearing this uniform, they'll drag me back to school.  
 **LAURA** : Ah. Okay...

She removes her corporal's jacket and gives it to Jessica. The jacket comes down to Jessica's knees and she has to roll the sleeves up

**JESSICA** : See Lisa, I told you it'd be an okay fit.  
 **LISA** (roll eyes) : Okay, whatever.

There is a sudden, STRONG gust of wind. Everyone yells, and Lisa drops her yearbook, which falls open.

**MINAKO** : Ah! Where did that come from?  
 **LISA** : My yearbook!

Lisa kneels to pick it up, but as she does so there is another, gentler gust. The pages in the book flick past and the sheets of photos fly out of the book, and are carried into the sky by the wind.

**LISA** : Hey!

Follow the photos as they rise on the wind...

**CUT TO :**

**HIGH UP VIEW OF SPRINGFIELD**  
The photos blow through the sky for a while. A block of apartments can be seen in the background...

**CUT TO :**

**ROOF OF APARTMENT BLOCK**  
A DARK SHAPE sits on the roof of the building. It appears to be a woman, in a hooded black cloak. It is the same woman who caused the trouble at the school..

**WOMAN** (angry) : This really sucks.

**CUT TO :**

**CLOSEUP OF WOMAN'S FACE**  
She appears to be Japanese. But her skin is unusually pale, almost ghostly. She has a shock of blonde hair falling down in front of her face, in such a way that it completely covers the right side of her face. She wears a tiara under the hair - it is like a normal Sailor tiara, except for the unpleasant thorns curling out from it.

**WOMAN** (angry) : Damn Mortis. Sending me here to fight eight enemies all by myself, while she and the others take on easier targets. How am I supposed to enjoy a fight at those odds? Instead I am reduced to tricks and espionage...

She grimaces, and stands.

**WOMAN** : I've been trying all morning, but the wind has not given me a single clue. Whoever those damn girls are, they're well protected, even if they do not realise it.

She raises a hand. A huge gust of wind blows suddenly. The woman is left strangely unaffected. She stops the wind, and there is a brief pause as she looks around.

**WOMAN** : Nothing... (looks up) huh?

A photograph blows it's way over to her, and settles in one of the folds of her cloak. She stoops and picks it up, turning it over in her hands. It's the photos of Lisa that blew out of her yearbook.

**WOMAN** : Hm... interesting...

She idly turns it over in her hands once again.

**WOMAN** : This might make a good lure for that Sailor Moon...

She smiles to herself, closes her eyes and seems to clench her fist. The wind speeds up once again...

**CUT TO :**

**THE PARK**  
Lisa looks up into the sky, disappointed at losing her photo.  
Suddenly, a very strong wind rips through the park. Everyone yells as it blows, but they manage to stand up against the wind.

**LAURA** (shouting) : What the hell is this?  
 **JESSICA** (shouting) : How should I know?  
 **LISA** (shouting) : Something's very wrong here!

Allison looks down at her yearbook. She's firmly holding it shut tight, but the photos in-between the pages seem to be inching their way out of the top of the book!

**ALLISON** (gasp) : HEY!

She clamps a hand over the top of the book, blocking their path. The photos continue to inch out... after a moment Allison yells in pain, and drops the book. She puts a finger in her mouth and sucks on it.

**LISA** : Allison, are you alright?  
 **ALLISON** (mouth full) : Maper hut! (takes finger out) I mean, I got a paper cut!

Now that it's lying on the ground, the book opens and the photo blows away.

**LISA** : This is weird. We'd better follow this wind!

They all run in the rough direction the wind is blowing.

**CUT TO :**

**ANOTHER STREET**  
Usagi, Ami and Makoto are heading along this street. The wind here is quite calm... and then Ami looks up.

**AMI** (startled) :  <Uh... what's that?>

Camera turns to look up the street - newspapers and other assorted debris (litter, cats, mailboxes) are blowing along the street.  
Before any of them can react the wind hits them. They're all startled but keep their balance - barely. All three start to yell.

**MAKOTO** :  <Wow! This is weird, this can't be right!>  
 **USAGI** :  <Yeah! I thought Chicago was meant to be> The Windy City!  
 **AMI** :  <Actually, while> the <can be used to make an adjective and a proper noun into a title, that does not prevent other nouns from having that adjective.>

Makoto seems to get dragged off after the wind. Ami and Usagi don't notice.

**USAGI** :  <Huh?>  
 **AMI** :  <I mean, Chicago is> The Windy City, <but it is not the only> city <that is> windy.  
 **USAGI** :  <Ahhhh, I see... (sigh, then gleeful) With Ami-chan around, I'm learning so much!>  
 **MAKOTO** (OS) :  <Uh, girls... little help?>

Both girls turn and see a strange sight... Makoto is being dragged away by her bag! Makoto has a grip on the straps, and the bag is pointing away from her at a 45 degree angle. The wind appears to be pulling just the bag away from her.

**USAGI** :  <Mako-chan!>

Both Usagi and Ami run over to Makoto, and grab on to the bag's straps, but given Makoto's height and the angle the bag is at they have to stand on their toes and can't get a good grip.  
Makoto is getting mad... She frowns and grits her teeth.

**MAKOTO** (straining) :  <Give... me... this... bag back!>

She pulls the bag sharply, accidentally knocking Ami and Usagi down in the process. As she pulls the bottom of the bag rips, and all the photos spill out. The wind catches them, and the photos flutter off into the sky...

**USAGI** (sitting up) :  <Hey! Our photos!>  
 **AMI** (getting out computer) :  <This is wrong... this isn't an ordinary wind.>  
 **MAKOTO** :  <No kidding...>

Ami looks around and spots an alleyway.

**AMI** :  <We'd better change into Sailor Senshi and see if our enemies are doing this.>  
 **USAGI** :  <You're right. Okay, lets go!>

All three girls run for the alleyway.

**CUT TO :**

**MAIN STREET**  
The wind rips along the street, stealing photos off of many people, mostly kids from the elementary school. Also, a lot of windows break as photos, some still in picture frames, escape from the houses and apartments.  
They're swept down the street, and up to the rooftops...

**CUT TO :**

**ROOF OF APARTMENT BLOCK**  
The woman stands in the centre of a growing tornado of pictures. She stops concentrating, and the pictures all fall to the ground, littering the roof.

**WOMAN** : Now, lets see what we've got...

She points a finger at a photo.

**CUT TO :**

**CLOSEUP OF PHOTO**  
The photograph is a picture of Bart. It folds itself in half, then in half again, and again and again. Then it pauses briefly and starts unfolding quickly, rapidly getting bigger. It unfolds itself into a full-size ORIGAMI BART. He resembles Bart in general shape only - he's a lot more sharp edged, and there is no colour on his paper. The thing just stands there, slightly hunched over, awaiting orders.

**CUT TO :**

**WOMAN**  
The woman looks at it appraisingly.

**WOMAN** : Not the most powerful golem ever created... but it should be more than enough for today. (laughing) Wouldn't want to make it too strong and spoil all the fun after all.

**CUT TO :**

**VIEW OF WHOLE ROOFTOP**  
All of the other photos start folding in on themselves in the same way, then expand and unfold out into dozens of similar origami golems. They're too many to list, though they're mostly school kids and a few adults whose photos were stolen from nearby.

**WOMAN** : GO!

All the golems jump off the building and start lightly floating down to ground level.

**CUT TO :**

**STREET LEVEL**  
The golems land and immediately start trashing the joint, causing general havoc.  
Lisa, Allison, Jessica, Laura and Minako arrive, and look at the scene in initially dismay, and then surprise and confusion.

**LISA** (bemused) : What is this?

The origami golems make for terrible monsters. One tries to punch a window, and just manages to fold it's arm backwards. Another tries mugging Grampa, but falls in a puddle and goes all soggy.  
The five girls just stare.

**LAURA** : Looks like easy pickings...  
 **ALLISON** : All the same, we shouldn't leave them. Lets get rid of them.  
 **LISA** : Yeah. But where can we go change?  
 **JESSICA** (pointing) : How about over there?

Turn to see she's pointing at a old-style private phone booth.

**MINAKO** : It looks good! It's classic!  
 **LISA** : Okay, I'll go first...

Lisa opens the door and goes in, but Jessica, Allison, Laura and Minako chase her in.

**JESSICA** : No time for us to take turns. Lets all go at once.  
 **LISA** : Hmph... alright. Sound off!  
 **ALLISON** : MERCURY POWER...  
 **JESSICA** : MARS POWER...  
 **LAURA** : JUPITER POWER...  
 **MINAKO** : VENUS POWER...  
 **LISA** : MOON PRISM POWER...  
 **ALL** (chorus) : ... MAKE UP!

Bright lights flash from within the booth, and it seems to rock from side to side. All the girls start yelling at the same time. After a few seconds the door opens, and MARS-JESSICA staggers out. She is rubbing her cheek.

**MARS-JESSICA** (sore) : Okay... lets not do that again... (angry) Do you have to spin around so much when you transform, Sailor Moon? You punched me in the face!

MOON-LISA steps out of the booth. She is drenched from head to toe in water.

**MOON-LISA** (annoyed) : Well, at least you didn't get soaked in Mercury's water...

MERC-ALLISON steps out now. She's covered in gold specks.

**MERC-ALLISON** : Well I'll never be able to brush Venus' glitter off my uniform!

VENUS-MINAKO exits the booth. Her hair is sticking up in all directions, and she resembles a dandelion... the others stifle a laugh

**VENUS-MINAKO** : Well I got shocked by Jupiter! (tries to pull hair down) I need a hairbrush!

JUP-LAURA sprints out of the booth. The bow on the back of her uniform is aflame.

**JUP-LAURA** : Helllp! I AM ON FIRE!  
 **MARS-JESSICA** : Uh, whoops...

Jup-Laura runs off screen. Merc-Allison raises her hands and...

**MERC-ALLISON** : BUBBLE SPRAY!

She shoots out a stream of bubbles at Jup-Laura just as she runs back onscreen. The fire goes out and Jup-Laura bends over, panting to herself, before quickly looking up and glaring at Mars-Jessica.

**JUP-LAURA** (angry) : Mars...  
 **MARS-JESSICA** (sheepish) : Um... sorry?  
 **VENUS-MINAKO** : Uh, remember the monsters?  
 **JUP-LAURA** : Oh yeah...  
 **MOON-LISA** : Right, lets go get them!

They all run toward the golems. Venus-Minako raises her index finger.

**VENUS-MINAKO** : CRESCENT... (crescent appears, she points at a golem) BEAM!

The crescent shoots at the golem, goes right through it, and also destroys another two golems behind it.

**VENUS-MINAKO** (happy) : Hey, I got three in one shot!  
 **JUP-LAURA** : Ah, I can do better... SUPREME THUNDER!

She blasts the golems with lightning, but only toasts 2. Merc-Allison giggles to herself

**JUP-LAURA** : Aw... (looks at Alison-Merc) Hey, are you laughing at me? Bet you couldn't do better...  
 **MERC-ALLISON** : I'll give it a shot... BUBBLE SPRAY!

She shoots a jet of bubbles at the golems, and three of them collapse into soggy piles of paper.

**MERC-ALLISON** : Yes, three!  
 **JUP-LAURA** (snorts to herself)  
 **MARS-JESSICA** : You all suck. Watch. FIRE SOUL!

Mars-Jessica shoots a fireball at a golem... it hits, and the golem catches fire. It panics and runs over to another golem, which catches the fire from the first, and those two go run into other golems setting them on fire...

**GOLEMS** : Help! I AM ON FIRE!

Mars-Jessica watches the scene...

**MARS-JESSICA** (gleeful) : 4, 8, 11, 18, 29...  
 **JUP-LAURA** (pouting) : All right, enough already...  
 **MOON-LISA** : These things don't seem to be much of a challenge.  
 **MARS-JESSICA** : Yeah, it's great!  
 **MOON-LISA** (wary) : Well, lets be careful... this could be a trap...  
 **WOMAN** (OS) : You're quite perceptive, "Sailor Moon."  
 **MOON-LISA** : Huh?

Moon-Lisa and her friends turn and see the Woman who was on top the apartment block, now standing in the empty street. Her hooded cloak billows in the wind. Moon-Lisa and Merc-Allison recognise her from the soccer game, and gasp.

**MOON-LISA** : Hey! It's you again!  
 **JUP-LAURA** (wary) : Is this the person from the game?

Moon-Lisa nods grimly. Jup-Laura and Venus-Minako step forward a little.

**VENUS-MINAKO** (wary) : Be careful Sailor Moon...

There is an uneasy silence. The woman breaks it.

**WOMAN** : Don't you want to ask who I am?  
 **MOON-LISA** : Not really. I was enjoying the peace after the last baddy we beat...

The woman smiles wryly.

**MOON-LISA** (cont) : ... but since you're here anyway...  
 **WOMAN** (interrupting) : Zealot.  
 **MOON-LISA** : Huh?  
 **WOMAN** : You and your kind took our rights, and what was ours! For that, we can't forgive you! For revenge and the true princess, I am the dark soldier of might, Sailor Zealot!

She pulls her cloak off and throws it away, and we can see what she looks like. She appears to be in her early twenties, tall and quite strong. She wears a uniform that vaguely resembles a sailor fuku, except the body is black and has no back. The edge of her green scarf is made up of ragged spikes, and it is tied by a three-pronged bonelike brooch. The green bow on her back looks more like 2 pairs of bat wings. Her skirt is silver and not pleated. She has a metal shoulder guard on her left arm, and a metal bracer on the same arm above the elbow. All she has on her feet are a pair of um, well, um, I guess black toeless socks is the best description. A prize to anyone who can get me a better description.

She stands on the balls of her feet, and immediately assumes a ready pose. She gathers electricity in her hands, and then throws it toward Moon-Lisa.

**ZEALOT** : SPARKLING WIDE PRESSURE!  
 **VENUS-MINAKO** : Sailor Moon! LOOK OUT!

She dives in front of Moon-Lisa, and is directly struck by the ball of lightning. Lightning crackles around her as she falls to the ground and stays there.  
All the soldiers turn to look at her.

**MOON-LISA** : Venus!  
 **JUP-LAURA** : Venus! (turns back to Zealot) Hey! What do you think you're doing?  
 **ZEALOT** (frustrated) : Trying to get a good fight. You girls aren't very entertaining.  
 **JUP-LAURA** (cracks knuckles) : You want a fight? (to Moon-Lisa) Stay here!

Jup-Laura runs toward Zealot.

**MOON-LISA** : Jupiter, no! She's just...

Jup-Laura throws a punch - Zealot dodges left. Jup-Laura follows with another punch - Zealot dodges right. Jup-Laura hops forward and tries a mid-level kick - Zealot dodges back and catches the foot in mid-air.

**MOON-LISA** (cont) : baiting you...

Jup-Laura struggles, but as she does so Zealot drops the foot, making Jup-Laura lose her balance. Zealot then winds up... and punches Jup-Laura in the stomach.  
Jup-Laura pretty much flies as she's thrown halfway across the street, through the window of a department store and far inside.

**ZEALOT** : Feh, too easy...  
 **MOON-LISA** : Jupiter!

Moon-Lisa, Merc-Allison and Mars-Jessica start to run toward the shop, but Zealot runs in front of them and blocks their way.

**ZEALOT** : Your two main guardians are gone now. Now I can get you over with and move onto more challenging targets...  
 **MOON-LISA** (trembling) : D-don't be so sure! We're not going to just roll over!  
 **ZEALOT** : You're not? Let's test that...

**CUT TO :**

**DEPARTMENT STORE**  
Jup-Laura slumps against the wall, and then slowly comes back to consciousness. There is an impact crater in the wall behind her and a trickle of blood coming from her mouth. She starts sitting up, then clutches her stomach.

**JUP-LAURA** : Ow... damn, that was hard... gotta get back to the others...  
 **GIRL'S VOICE** (OS) :  <So this is where you are. Need a hand?>  
 **JUP-LAURA** : Huh?

Jup-Laura looks up. JUP-MAKOTO is standing over her, a hand extended to help Jup-Laura up. She's clearly GIRL 3 from the soccer game. Jup-Laura looks at her in amazement.

**JUP-LAURA** : Oh, uh, thank you...

She takes the hand and Jup-Makoto helps her get up. They stand facing each other for a moment. The two look very similar - they're the same height and general build. Jup-Makoto looks very surprised when she sees this. She looks Jup-Laura up and down appraisingly.

**JUP-MAKOTO** :  <So you're this other Sailor Jupiter... (cheery) Nice to meet you!>

Jup-Laura just looks at her, and looks embarrassed...

**JUP-LAURA** : Ah, well... (cough)  <Me learn Japanese, but not good...>  
 **JUP-MAKOTO** :  <Oh, I see.> Am same with English! No problem!  
 **JUP-LAURA** : You are? (to self) Well, that's oddly reassuring...  
 **JUP-MAKOTO** (to self) :  <Hm, maybe this is what I would look like if I wasn't Japanese?>

There's a pause while they look sideways at each other, then they both put a hand behind their heads and laugh awkwardly.  
After a moment Jup-Laura suddenly goes pale and she stops laughing.

**JUP-LAURA** : Ohmygod! Sailor Moon! I forgot!  
 **JUP-MAKOTO** (stops laughing) :  <Huh? You spoke too fast...>  
 **JUP-LAURA** (not understanding) : Whatever, no time to talk, come on!

Jup-Laura grabs Jup-Makoto's wrist and starts dragging her away. Jup-Makoto gets the idea soon enough and they both run to the front of the store.

**CUT TO :**

**STREET**  
Zealot advances on Moon-Lisa, Merc-Allison and Mars-Jessica. She starts to concentrate, conjuring six spheres behind her. Zealot holds her hands together and rings of fire shoot from the spheres toward the soldiers.

**ZEALOT** : BURNING MANDALA!  
 **MARS-JESSICA** : Look out!

The fireballs aim for the ground around the soldiers. Merc-Allison and Moon-Lisa jump back out of the area. Mars-Jessica is slower... she gets hit by a fireball, but it just dissipates on her arm. Moon-Lisa looks toward Mars-Jessica.

**MOON-LISA** : Sailor Mars! Are you okay?  
 **MARS-JESSICA** (surprised) : yeah... I think... so...  
 **ZEALOT** (OS) : BLACK TIARA ACTION!  
 **MOON-LISA** (looking up) : Huh? What?

**CUT TO :**

**ZEALOT**  
While Moon-Lisa has been distracted, Zealot has turned her tiara into an extremely black disc, and thrown it at Moon-Lisa. The disc sails through the air...

**CUT TO :**

**MOON-LISA CLOSEUP**  
She sees the disc, and almost bugs out...

**MOON-LISA** : Aaagh!

**CUT TO :**

**THE TIARA**  
The tiara continues to sail through the air... and then...

**VENUS-MINAKO** (OS) : CRESCENT BEAM!

A gold crescent shoots out from nowhere, hitting the tiara, which flies wildly off course and grounds in the wall of a building.

**CUT TO :**

**MOON-LISA**  
Moon-Lisa turns to look behind her, and sees Venus-Minako standing there and looking somewhat shaky.

**MOON-LISA** : Venus! You're okay!  
 **VENUS-MINAKO** (to self, worried) :  <Man... we're out of practice...>

**CUT TO :**

**ZEALOT**  
She looks enraged.

**ZEALOT** : Hey! How can you deflect my tiara?  
 **JUP-LAURA** (OS) : Excuse me...  
 **ZEALOT** : Huh?

Zealot starts to turn, but is grabbed from behind by Jup-Laura.

**JUP-LAURA** : We're not done yet! HAA!

Jup-Laura lifts her and throws Zealot... right over to Jup-Makoto, who's waiting and winding up a punch... BAM! Jup-Makoto's punch connects with Zealot's jaw - she seems to bounce away from the Sailor Senshi and slide along the ground a little, coming to rest against a wall.

**MOON-USAGI** (OS) :  <Sailor Jupiter!>

MOON-USAGI and MERC-AMI jump down from the rooftops. They look around at Moon-Lisa and her soldiers, Jup-Laura first.

**MOON-USAGI** (confused) :  <That is, uh, "Sailor Jupiters?">  
 **ZEALOT** : uugh...

Everyone, momentarily distracted by the new arrivals, turn their attentions back to Zealot, who is standing... she glares at them all.

**ZEALOT** (counting) : Those five... then seven, nine, eleven... damnit, too much. (straightens up) Looks like everyone's here. I'll head out now... (to Moon-Lisa) but I'll be back for you... (to Moon-Usagi)  <and then for you, usurper...>  
 **MOON-USAGI** :  <Huh?>  
 **ZEALOT** : BUBBLE SPRAY!

She throws out a blanket of little bubbles that quickly become a thick mist. All of the soldiers and senshi are blinded by it, and stumble around.

**JUP-LAURA** : Hey, what gives?  
 **MERC-ALLISON** : That's my attack!  
 **MERC-AMI** :  <That's my attack!>  
 **MOON-USAGI** :  <Itte! It's cold!>

The mist clears. Zealot is gone. All of the girls blink and look around as they regain their bearings.

**MOON-LISA** : She's gone!  
 **MOON-USAGI** :  <Where'd she go?>  
 **MERC-AMI** :  <It looks like we scared her away.>  
 **MOON-USAGI** :  <Yeah! (to Lisa) It's really lucky for you that we came to save you!>

Lisa runs the Japanese sentence over in her head for a moment, then scowls at Moon-Usagi.

**MOON-LISA** : Save? We were just about to... (sees Moon-Usagi's blank face) Hm... (bad Japanese)  <What do... you mean... save? We were to beat her soon! Who are you besides?>  
 **MOON-USAGI** :  <Who am I? (poses) I am the pretty soldier (pose) of love and justice (pose) Sailor Moon! (pose) >  
 **MOON-LISA** : What? Sailor Moon? But...  <I'm Sailor Moon!>  
 **MOON-USAGI** :  <No, I am.>  
 **MOON-LISA** :  <But, I am!>  
 **MOON-USAGI** :  <No, you're not, I am!>  
 **MOON-LISA** :  <But I AM the real one! Luna got me first!>  
 **MERC-AMI** : But that was a mistake...  
 **MOON-LISA** : Yeah but...  
 **MERC-AMI** : Luna made you _a_ Sailor Moon, but that did not make you _the_ Sailor Moon.

Moon-Lisa looks down, starting to get dejected.

**MOON-LISA** : Yeah but...  
 **MOON-USAGI** :  <So, if I'm the only Sailor Moon, I guess you'll need a new name. How about Sailor Chibi-Moon? That's a good name!>

Moon-Lisa just looks at Usagi and raises an eyebrow. Rage starts boiling under her calm exterior... she turns to Venus-Minako.

**MOON-LISA** : Did she say "Chibi-Moon?"  
 **VENUS-MINAKO** : Uh, yes...  
 **MOON-LISA** (disbelieving) : Chibi-Moon? "Small"-Moon? "Mini"-Moon? (to Moon-Usagi)  <You've got to be joking...>

Moon-Usagi smiles, completely misunderstanding Moon-Lisa's mood, and shakes her head. Moon-Lisa slowly boils over...

**MOON-LISA** (angry) : Aww great! No way! Chibi-Moon? I might as well just carry a pink plastic wand, hang around at your leg and pretend to fight!  
 **MOON-USAGI** (surprised) :  <You don't like it?>  
 **MOON-LISA** :  <No I do not!>  
 **MERC-ALLISON** : Look, calm down...  
 **MOON-LISA** : Calm down? I am not going to be this girl's sidekick!  
 **VENUS-MINAKO** : She said calm down, Sailor Moon! You're being silly!  
 **MOON-USAGI** :  <Huh? Sailor Moon?>  
 **MERC-ALLISON AND VENUS-MINAKO** :  <NOT YOU! (points at Moon-Lisa) HER!>

Moon-Lisa looks surprised and gasps, looks around at her friends, then gets angry again.

**MOON-LISA** : I don't believe it, you're taking THEIR SIDE?  
 **MARS-JESSICA** : We're not taking anyone's side...  
 **MOON-LISA** : Yeah, well you should be taking MY side!  
 **JUP-LAURA** : But they have a point, Sailor Moon...  
 **MOON-USAGI** :  <Huh?>  
 **JUP-LAURA** (quickly points at Moon-Lisa) :  <This one.>  
 **MOON-USAGI** :  <Oh, right.>  
 **MOON-LISA** :  <Yeah, that's right, me, the real Sailor Moon!>  
 **JUP-LAURA** (rolls eyes) : The *point* is, she is the real Sailor Moon and you know it...

There is a pause, while Moon-Lisa thinks to herself.

**MOON-LISA** : Yeah but... but... um... aw, forget it! Fine! If that's it, I'll get out of your hair, okay! (to her Soldiers) Have fun with your new Sailor Moon.

Moon-Lisa turns away, jumps up to the top of a streetlamp, and then onto a low rooftop.

**JUP-LAURA** : Uh oh...  
 **MARS-JESSICA** : We'd better get after her...  
 **MERC-ALLISON** : Yeah, lets go... (to Senshi)  <Uh, sorry, but we have to go. Bye!>

All three jump away, chasing Moon-Lisa. Venus-Minako turns to follow, but...

**MERC-AMI** :  <Sailor Venus, wait!>  
 **VENUS-MINAKO** :  <Wha? What is it?>  
 **MERC-AMI** :  <This probably isn't the right time to ask, but... well...>  
 **MOON-USAGI** :  <You realise that you were supposed to be in our team, right?>

Venus-Minako looks surprised, and seems to think to herself.

**VENUS-MINAKO** :  <Your team?>  
 **JUP-MAKOTO** :  <You know... the real Sailor Senshi...>

Venus--Minako stiffens and glares slightly at Jup-Makoto, who is taken aback.

**MOON-USAGI** :  <Er, that is, the proper, correct Sailor Senshi... ah, that sounds bad too...>  
 **VENUS-MINAKO** (coldly) :  <The right Sailor Senshi, instead of those pretenders?>  
 **MOON-USAGI** (quickly) :  <Yes! (shakes head) No! I mean no!>

Venus-Minako closes her eyes and growls to herself a little, Marge style.

**VENUS-MINAKO** (coldly) :  <Those "pretenders" defeated the Dark Kingdom. And they're my friends... You can't dismiss them like that.>

The Senshi look around awkwardly, quite embarrassed.

**VENUS-MINAKO** :  <I'm here to help whoever needs it the most. At the moment, that looks like my friends.>

The three Senshi look quite glum now. Moon-Usagi raises her head.

**MOON-USAGI** :  <If you've decided that then it can't be helped. But can I ask you to do something?>  
 **VENUS-MINAKO** :  <What is it?>  
 **MOON-USAGI** :  <Could you try to stop your friends from transforming and fighting? They're in a lot of danger...>  
 **VENUS-MINAKO** :  <I'll see. But if they decide to fight, I'll be fighting on their team. Bye, for now.>

She jumps away, leaving the three Senshi alone. They frown and look at each other.

**MERC-AMI** :  <I don't think we got off on the right foot there...>  
 **JUP-MAKOTO** :  <Especially with Sailor Chibi-Moon or Sailor Venus...>  
 **MOON-USAGI** : D'oh! (slaps head)

**CUT TO :**

**ROOFTOP**  
Lisa (who has already changed back to normal clothes) sits on the edge of the roof. Her feet dangle over the edge and she leans forward with her chin resting in the palms of her hands.

**LISA** (mutters) : Stupid Sailor Moon, telling me to (unintelligible) I should get her to (unintelligible) those stupid jerks some friends they (unintelligible) Sailor Chibi-Moon my (unintelligible)  
 **MERC-ALLISON** : Lisa!

Lisa is startled, and turns to see Merc-Allison, Mars-Jessica and Jup-Laura approaching her.

**JUP-LAURA** : Still annoyed about what that Sailor Moon said?  
 **LISA** : Firstly, she's NOT Sailor Moon. And secondly, yes.  
 **JUP-LAURA** : Well... look at it this way. If you have to be Chibi-Moon, that means we're all in the same boat with you. Now, the names Chibi-Mercury and Chibi-Mars might fit these two, but *I* (sexy pose) am not even remotely chibi. So it's not so bad for you now is it?

Lisa starts to giggle. Mars-Jessica looks affronted.

**MARS-JESSICA** : Hey, it doesn't suit me, (same pose) I'm not chibi either!

There is a brief pause... and then everyone else bursts out laughing. Mars-Jessica just looks even more annoyed.  
Venus-Minako jumps up to the rooftop. She sees the others, smiles and waves.

**VENUS-MINAKO** : Hi!  
 **MERC-ALLISON** : What happened to you, Venus?  
 **VENSU-MINAKO** (hiding it) : I... er, ah, I got lost!  
 **MARS-JESSICA** (dismissive) : Huh. Typical.

Venus-Minako ignores her, and approaches Lisa.

**VENUS-MINAKO** : Lisa... are you okay?  
 **LISA** (sigh) : Don't worry... I'll be fine...  
 **VENUS-MINAKO** (doubtful) : Oh really...

There's an awkward pause among everyone. Merc-Allison looks up and changes the subject.

**MERC-ALLISON** : You know, we never got our photos back either...  
 **LISA** (depressed) : Oh yeah...  
 **JUP-LAURA** : Well, that's easily fixed, right?

**CUT TO :**

**SCHOOL FIELD**  
The photo tent is still up... REI comes out of the entrance, dragging a desk out. She's clearly struggling with it and looks quite annoyed.

**REI** (mutters) :  <Stupid girls, leaving me here while they go shopping (unintelligible) someone could have stayed to help me (unintelligible) I ought to Fire Soul their (unintelligible)>  
 **VENUS-MINAKO** (OS) :  <Excuse me... are you busy.>  
 **REI** :  <What?>

She turns, and sees Venus-Minako standing behind her. The other Soldiers stand in a group some distance behind Venus. Rei almost jumps out of her skin.

**REI** : Woah! (to herself)  <Sailor Venus and those other senshi here, now?>  
 **VENUS-MINAKO** (smiling) :  <We were wondering if you would take a picture of us...>  
 **REI** (stunned) :  <A picture? Er... yes! Yes! No problem! Please wait a moment!>

Rei runs into the tent.

**CUT TO :**

**INSIDE TENT**  
Rei scrambles to find the camera.

**REI** :  <I don't believe it! They came right here and ASKED me to photograph them! (she finds the camera, and smiles broadly) LUCKY!>

She grabs the camera and runs outside.

**CUT TO :**

**CAMERA VIEWFINDER**  
The viewfinder looks out over the field. Moon-Lisa, Merc-Allison, Mars-Jessica, Jup-Laura and Venus-Minako stand in a group, with Jup and Venus at the back, Mars and Moon standing in front of them, and Merc sitting on the ground in front of them. The picture is a bit out of focus - the camera zooms in on them and focuses correctly. Mars-Jessica is slouching a little.

**REI** (OS) :  <Okay...> Everyone say ch... (groan) <Could Sailor Ma... uh, the girl in red stand up straight please?>  
 **VENUS-MINAKO** : She's talking to you Mars...  
 **MARS-JESSICA** : Huh?  
 **REI** (OS) :  <Oh for god's sake...>

Rei runs into shot from behind the camera. She goes over to Mars-Jessica.

**REI** (fussing) :  <A pretty girl like you shouldn't slump over like that...>

Rei grabs Mars' shoulders and pulls her up.

**REI** (fussing) :  <Chest out, butt in, and (pulls at her cheeks) smile!>  
 **MARS-JESSICA** : Hey! What're you doing? Get off!

Everyone except for Rei and Mars-Jessica giggle at the scene. Rei quickly lifts the lock of hair that goes in front of Mars-Jessica's shoulder and puts it behind the shoulder.

**REI** :  <There, that's better.> Okay, hold that please!

Mars-Jessica rolls her eyes as Rei runs back behind the camera.

**REI** (OS) : Okay, everyone say "chiizu" please!

**SOLDIERS** (chorus) : Cheese!

There is a flash and the picture freezes as the photo is taken. Just as it's taken. Mars-Jessica screws up her face and sticks out her tongue, while Jup-Laura puts rabbit-ears behind Moon-Lisa's head.

**MIX TO :**

**CLOSEUP OF YEARBOOK**  
Camera pulls away from the photo a little to show Lisa's hand writing "Sailor Soldiers club." Then she writes in smaller writing "(which I was not in, Mom)"

**FADE OUT.**

  
**EXT : EDGE OF BASEBALL FIELD - LATER**  
The view is of a fence at the side of a grassy area. We can hear the sound of a little-league baseball game in the distance.  
LUNA jumps up from behind the fence and sits on it.

**LUNA** (sighs) : Well, that was depressing. This isn't going well so far.

She sits on the fence and looks around.

**LUNA** : Where's Mamoru? We said we'd meet here...

**CUT TO :**

**PITCHER'S MOUND**  
CHARLIE BROWN stands on the pitcher's mound, looking apprehensive. LINUS approaches the mound.

**LINUS** : Well, this is it Charlie Brown. It's the bottom of the ninth, the bases are loaded, most of our fielders are yellow birds because all the girls who were on our team are in comas, and their best hitter has just come up to bat. You need to strike this guy out, Charlie Brown.  
 **CHARLIE** : (ulp) Everyone's counting on me, huh...  
 **LINUS** : Yep, you're our only hope! But no pressure! Now go strike this guy out!

Linus walks away from the mound. Charlie Brown looks nervously toward the batter.

**CHARLIE** : Everyone's counting on me... I'll strike this guy out and be the hero!

Charlie Brown winds up and throws the ball. We hear the sound of a swing.

**SCHROEDER** (OS) : Strike one!  
 **CHARLIE** : I did it! I struck him out once! Here goes again...

Charlie Brown throws again, and once again we hear the sound of a swing.

**SCHROEDER** (OS) : Strike two!  
 **CHARLIE BROWN** : I did it! I struck him out again! But can I do it a third time? Aww, who am I kidding? Nothing ever goes my way with these things, I won't be the hero... I'll just be the goat...  
 **LINUS** (OS) : Come on Charlie Brown, strike him out!  
 **CHARLIE** : I'll just pitch anything, it won't matter...

He winds up and does a pretty poor pitch. The ball sails slowly through the air... when something long and sharp hits it out of the air. It's a rose, which pins the ball into the ground!

**CUE TUXEDO KAMEN THEME**

Camera quickly pans up to show TUXEDO KAMEN (yay!) standing on top of the score board.

**KAMEN** : You will never win if you don't try your best, Charlie Brown! Courage and determination can pull you through this crisis! Use the split-fingered fastball!

He jumps down the back of the scoreboard, and is gone... Linus walks up to the pitcher's mound.

**LINUS** : Well, that was very strange... I think they're calling that a no pitch. So go ahead and pitch again Charlie Brown. (He walks away)  
 **CHARLIE** : He's right! If I try my best, I can be the hero, not the goat!

Charlie Brown rolls up his sleeves, splits his fingers, winds back and pitches. We hear a swing...

**SCHROEDER** (OS) : Strike three!  
 **EVERYONE** : YAAAAAAYYYYY!  
 **CHARLIE** : I struck him out!

SCHROEDER, LINUS, PIG PEN, SNOOPY, and a whole lotta WOODSTOCKS run onscreen and lift Charlie Brown over their shoulders.

**EVERYONE** : You struck him out!  
 **CHARLIE** : I struck him out!  
 **EVERYONE** : You struck him out!  
 **CHARLIE** : I struck him out!  
 **LINUS** : But we still lost twenty to two!

Everyone drops Charlie Brown.

**EVERYONE** : WE DID? WAAAAAAAAAAAA!  
 **CHARLIE** : Rats.

**CUT TO :**

**LUNA ON THE FENCE**  
Luna watches the scene, bemused.

**LUNA** (raises eye) : What has he been up to over there?

MAMORU suddenly pops up from behind the fence.

**MAMORU** :  <Just staying in practice.>  
 **LUNA** (surprised) : AAAK!

She slips on the fence, and almost falls off, but hangs on with her front paws.

**LUNA** :  <Hey! Don't do that, Mamoru!>  
 **MAMORU** :  <Sorry. (helps Luna back onto the fence) So, did you have any luck finding your girls?  
 **LUNA** : Well, I found them... but they were all the same as Wendy and her friends had been.  
 **MAMORU** : Hm. I see.  
 **LUNA** : This isn't happening by accident. Someone's attacking the girls... (stands, starts to leave) We'd better get going right now.

Mamoru nods and stands, and follows Luna.

**FADE OUT.**

  
**CLOSING CREDITS** \- "Otome No Policy" (Maiden's Policy)

**TEASER**  
 **LISA** : We were really kicked around back there. If I'm going to impress these new girls and get to keep my dignity, we'll have to train hard and get a lot better! Good thing there's a gymnastics tournament on soon and our school has some spare spaces!  
 **BART** : Woah, watch out Lis, this isn't a normal gymnastics meeting!  
 **LISA** : Next Episode! "Insane Stalkers and the boys they obsess over! Enter the Rhythmic Martial Arts tournament!" See you there!  
 **JESSICA** (snide) : Your dignity Lisa? You gave that up when you said "Moon Prism Power..."

**Author's Note:**

> Yup, back when I first wrote this, "Wii U" and "XBone" were "Gamecube" and "X-Box." This fic is old. That's why Minako and Artemis are trapped in a freaking Megatokyo reference.
> 
> I like that the joke doesn't need to be changed at all though. Enjoy the new Smash!


End file.
